mine?

 

overheard, part quatre

overheard in a mortgage office:


you mean i have to have money to purchase a home?

split the difference

overheard at the office:

"bought a new scale this weekend.
took it out of the box, threw it down on the carpet, jumped on.
214.

took it into the kitchen on the linoleum,
weighed myself again,
250.

so i decided to split the difference."

vacation tip: parking on the cheap

rockport, massachusetts:
look closely: why would anyone pay more than a penny?

nytimes

overheard at a mortgage office, part deux

 

"i can't justify watching early world cup football matches. . .there's a certain amount of guilt associated with heavy drinking at 6:30 in the morning."

 

hey, sports fans. . .part troix

damn.

i hoped he'd go all the way, after a performance
like his opening round 665-minute marathon.

but, alas, he lost today in straight sets in 75 minutes.

maybe next year. . .

hey, sports fans. . .update

final score: 6-4, 3-6, 6-7 (9), 7-6 (3), 70-68

click the pic to read the nytimes article

little boxes, part deux

what's worse than building a manufactured home in hurricane alley?

building a manufactured home in hurricane alley

and making it easier for a hurricane to blow it away!

don't believe me?

see them here!

 

little boxes on the hillside little boxes made of ticky tacky

one side of a conversation overheard in a mortgage office

-------------------------------------------------------

why are we going to that lender. . . 

your clients are purchasing a manufactured home? . . . 

WHO DOES THAT??? . . .

why does he want to buy one?

he really loves that manufactured home? . . .

oh. he offered to buy you a beer if we can
close the loan on this particular home? . . .

oh. he really wants to sit on the porch of his new
manufactured home with you and have a beer. . .

ok. . .whatever he wants. . .

-------------------------------------------------------

redneck mansion

hey, sports fans. . .

are you kidding me?

isner (usa) vs. mahut (france) in the fifth set. no tiebreaker.

the score. . .wait for it. . .is 59-59. . .after a combined 10 hours of play. wednesday's play in the fifth set was 7 hours 6 minutes, longer than the previous record for an entire match. . .

and play is delayed for a second day because of darkness.

more to come tomorrow.

wish i were there.

poetic. balletic. hypnotic.

who'd have thought flying a kite could be
so relaxing. . .so inspiring. . .so moving. . .
so. . .

. . .simply beautiful.

sacre bleu!

"To have the worst soccer team at the World Cup was almost unbearable. 

To also have the most stupid is intolerable."

--Le Parisien--

redneck divorce

dear cooter,

me and sue ellen have divorced, the judge gave her the double wide and the pickup.

so, like the court order said, i delivered the truck before 2 o'clock yesterday afternoon! i took a picture fer proof that i delivered it. i wanted to make sure she found it when she got home!!!

your buddy,


bubba

from othersiderainbow
too funny not to share

witty retort du jour

a man boarded a plane with six kids. (he's either gutsy or loony!)


after they got settled in their seats, a woman sitting across the aisle from him leaned over to him and asked, "are all of those kids yours?"


he replied, "no. I work for a condom company. these are customer complaints."

oh, my freaking head!

Nicholas Carr: The Web Shatters Focus, Rewires Brains

i beg your pardon???

"passage of (a requirement for a 5% downpayment law) in order to qualify for a home loan would restrict home ownership to only those who can afford it."

senator chris dodd

you want people who can't afford to buy houses to buy houses?

what are you thinking, senator??

this ain't no upwardly mobile freeway oh no, this is the road to hell

story here

murphy was an optimist

barbecue rules 101

this is a Barbecue grill guaranteed to get everyone’s attention.

It should be towed with the barrel facing backward.
Then you won’t have to worry about anyone tailgating you.

We are about to enter BBQ season. It is important to refresh your memory on the etiquette of this sublime outdoor cooking activity . When a man volunteers to do the cooking on a BBQ, the following chain of events is put into motion:

Routine:

(1) The woman buys the food.

(2) The woman makes the salad, prepares the vegetables, and makes dessert.

(3) The woman prepares the meat for cooking, places it on a tray along with the necessary cooking utensils and sauces, and takes it to the man who is lounging beside the grill, beer in hand.

(4) The woman remains outside the compulsory three meter exclusion zone where the exuberance of testosterone and other manly bonding activities can take place without the interference of estrogen.

Here comes the important part:

(5) THE MAN PLACES THE MEAT ON THE GRILL.

More routine:

(6) The woman goes inside to organize the plates and cutlery.

(7) The woman comes out to tell the man that the meat is looking great. He thanks her and asks if she will bring another beer while he flips the meat.

Important again:

(8) THE MAN TAKES THE MEAT OFF THE GRILL AND HANDS IT TO THE WOMAN.

More routine:

(9) The woman prepares the plates, salad, bread, utensils, napkins, sauces, and brings them to the table.

(10) After eating, the woman clears the table and does the dishes.

And most important of all:

(11) Everyone PRAISES the MAN and THANKS HIM for his cooking efforts.

Whereupon:

(12) The man asks the woman how she enjoyed “her night off” and, upon seeing her annoyed reaction, concludes that there’s just no pleasing a woman!

thanks to sreiels for sharing!

for the man who has everything and no place to park it. . .

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/06/03/garden/03qna.html

and i thought dubya had trouble with basic grammar. . .

Personalize funny videos and birthday eCards at JibJab!

if you're running for elected office, and sarah palin shows up, run away! run away!

the palin brand: bone-headed, defiant and willfully ignorant.

(click the nyt logo for the story)

my brother was such a sap. . .he loved to listen to andrea bocelli. . .so. . .

The Prayer (with Celine Dion)


I pray you'll be our eyes, 

and watch us where we go 
And help us to be wise, 
in times when we don't know 


Let this be our prayer, 
when we lose our way 
Lead us to the place, 
guide us with your grace 
To a place where we'll be safe. 


La luce che tu dai 
I pray we'll find your light
Nel cuore resterà
And hold it in our hearts
A ricordarci che
When stars go out each night
L'eterna stella sei 


Nella mia preghiera 
Let this be our prayer
Quanta fede c'è
When shadows fill our day
Lead us to a place
Guide us with your grace
Give us faith so we'll be safe


Sognamo un mondo senza più violenza
Un mondo di giustizia e di speranza
Ognuno dia la mano al suo vicino
Simbolo di pace e di fraternità
La forza che ci dia 


We ask that life be kind 
È il desiderio che 
And watch us from above 
Ognuno trovi amor 
We hope each soul will find 
Intorno e dentro a sè 
Another soul to love 


Let this be our prayer 
Just like every child 
Needs to find a place, 
guide us with your grace 
Give us faith so we'll be safe 


E la fede che 
Hai acceso in noi 
Sento che ci salverà

does that thing have a hemi. . .part deux

there was a tiny fiat 850 parked outside my office today.

funny thing, though. . .

there were two radar/laser detectors attached to the windshield.

one must ask. . .it will hardly maintain freeway speed anyway. . .

so what's the point? i mean, really???