i can't believe i ate the whole thing

i am trying something new this year. i am setting a reminder on my doorstep for all those little ankle-biters who will be ringing my doorbell on halloween how they will feel the morning after eating all that candy.

i wish i were homewhere the buffalo roamand the deer and the antelopedon't stay the coursebut i never said stay the course

george w. bush said on cnbc this week, that he "sometimes goes on the google to pull up maps like. . .I kinda like to look at the ranch. it reminds me of where i wanna be sometimes." (click here for the youtube clip.)

and seriously, he told stephanopoulos that, "when it comes to Iraq policy, we've never been 'stay the course'!" (click here for the abcnews clip at thinkprogress.)

i beg your pardon?

go to your own white house home page, dubya, and enter the term "stay the course", and see how many hits you get.

if you don't remember how many times you said "stay the course" in the last two years, then perhaps you should go back to the ranch and stay there, instead of looking it up on "the google."

geeez.

• • • • our first nominee into the• • • • second annual bored stiff geeks• • • • hall of fame

if someone has entirely too much time on his hands,
he (or she) must be a bored stiff geek.

it certainly is amazing what you can do
with an x-acto knife
and a single sheet of paper!

• • • • the 2005 inductee
• • • • can be seen here

thanks to scandalous
for the pictures

i like a little roughage with my lettuce

it's either this or e. coli with your spinach. your choice.

click the picture for the urban myth answer

thanks to scandalous
for sending this to me

bill maher's new rules

you can't call yourself a think tank
if all your ideas are stupid

watch the video
quicktime • windows media

read the transcript
here or here

courtesy of crooksandliars.com and hbo.com

'nuf said.

paging speaker hastertpaging speaker hastert

what did speaker hastert say to mark foley?

"lets be sure we're all on the same page."

the skies will rendand the earth will shake'cuz there's a rumbleat the hukilau tonight*

the hawaiian islands were doing a hula all their own today, and my wife's parents were there for the whole ride. you see, they live in honaunau, south of kailua-kona, just a few miles from the epicenter of the quake.

they were at morning mass when it struck. they were at a very old place called the painted church--quite a marvel, really, more than a hundred years old, built of wood and painted in rather ornate murals. everything's original--even the windows.

the crucifix, pictures and other stuff fell off the walls, the building shook, and there remained rather a mess to clean up. that is, except for the windows.

they're intact.

blows the mind.

*new testament, book of pele, chapter 4, verses 6-9

--------------

a tip: if you ever visit the place, be sure to buy something at the gift shop. it will help pay for the restoration and upkeep of the church.

horsing around

my goodness, how they grow up. one moment they're falling off bikes with training wheels, and next they're riding horses.

and to think that in only 4 years she'll be driving a car.

may we please go back to horse and buggy?

happy birthday to peggy. . . .

welcome to the other side of 39.

young as ever, i am sure you are.

regards to murray and the kids.

best wishes. . .

six months have passed since i left the world of slinging sheetmetal and rubber and joined the ranks of the mortgage professional. seems like yesterday.

there were some fellas who were shocked to see me go, and who were genuinely concerned for my welfare, and who are happy to know that i am making a success of the new career.

there were one or two schlubs who thought i wouldn't make it, and who thought i'd be crawling back on hands and knees, begging for my old job back, but i think i have done well for myself, from all indications, and i sincerely hope they are happy for me.

whether you were a well-wisher or a schlub, i wish you well in your careers and the best in your lives.

six months. my my, how time flies.

values, schmalues

a republican florida congressman was caught sending emails with sexual overtones to teenage boys on the capitol hill staff.

said republican was chair of a house caucus on children and family issues--that is, until recently, when he resigned in shame.

other republicans in the house of representatives knew of the emails weeks ago, but are only now admitting knowledge of the offending communications after their knowledge of said communiqués was uncovered in an investigative news report.

smells like a cover-up to me.

and the republicans tout themselves as the party of family values?

values, schmalues.

separated at birth?

"unless we all conform, unless we follow our leaders blindly,
there is no possible way we can remain free."

- maj. frank burns

sounds remarkably like the arguments bush&co have made lately that dissent is unpatriotic and that disagreement with the war in iraq serves to weaken, not strengthen, our country. funny, but i thought the right to dissent and disagreement with our leaders is what made our country strong and free in the first place.

"i disapprove of what you say, but i will defend to the death your right to say it."

- voltaire, a.k.a. françois marie arouet (1694–1778)

vicodin is her friend

That's a javelin in her foot.

bowling for dollars

took the girls bowling last night. started at 8, finished at 10:30. thought for certain annie would be tuckered out by then, but noooooo--by the time we got home at 11 they were both still swinging from the vines like chimps.

we hadn't bowled in almost two years, but we had a ball. i rolled a night's high of 183, and the girls each threw a couple of strikes and a handful of spares. not bad at all.

we should do that more often.

how do you know when you're flying over africa?

thanks to momski
for sharing this

stumbled across a cool naming scheme on an old coworker's blog today

click here: name hyphenation scheme

i see your true colors shining throughi see your true colors and that's why i. . .. . .oh, never mind, part deux*

on monday, george bush made his recitation of all the reasons why he went to war against saddam hussein in iraq, concluding that "the terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the middle east."

then came the question. "what did iraq have to do with that?"

"what did iraq have to do with what?", replied the president.

duh, with the 9/11 attacks on the world trade center and the pentagon.

w's reply?

"nothing."

so why the hell are we there?

source: marie cocco, post writer's group
*apologies to cyndi lauper, again!

to read the whole column, click here

they go away for two weeks and then they don't even recognize you standing in the airport.

the girls went off to hawaii two weeks ago, and came back today. i was supposed to meet them in the baggage claim area, i will admit, but i was early, so i went upstairs to the concourse level and stood in a semi-conspicuous spot.

as they approached, i caught annie's eye, and waved to her. she almost waved back. then moira spotted me, and i waved to her too. they gave me that look. you know, the one which says "who's that strange looking guy over there waving at me in the airport?"

i can't feel too bad. after all, i had grown a goatee in the two weeks they were gone, so i was not my usual strange-looking self.

my wife and kids went to hawaiiand all i got were the lousy choresaround the house while they were gone

two weeks ago monday my wife and girls jetted off to the island of hawaii. my mom (bless her) has been checking in on me from time to time to see if i am "batch-ing" it well. it has its ups and downs, but the solitude (i.e. the lack of screaming kids) has its benefits.

why, you ask, did i pass up a vacation to hawaii? no simple answer, that. you see, when i took my new job at countrywide on april 3, i thought it might not be prudent to skip off to the islands after a scant 3 months of work, never mind the fact that we had been planning this vacation for a year.

so i sacrificed a vacation and worked 10- to 11-hour days while the girlz were gone, knowing full well that i couldn't be guilted or nagged for working long hours. we'll see what happens when they get back.

i have had some time to catch up on some stuff around the house, and to stay in touch with friends lost over the years, and to remember silly stuff like birthdays (see here).

on the homefront, i even got to test my new media room all by myself and crank up the surround sound without worry about anyone asking me to turn it down.

tuesday morning, it all comes to a close.

next year, i pick the vacation spot. methinks the east coast is due for a visit soon so we can show off the girls to all my cousins.

happy birthday susy fischer.
happy birthday gene.

happy birthday, dear friend

diane sunde graham

18 august 1964 - 1 march 2005

there's a hole
in our hearts
where you once were

we miss you dearly
and celebrate you

for even though
there's a hole
in our hearts
where you once were

we would not be
as complete
were it not for you.