29 November 2005

someone was absent the day
intelligent design was handed out.

car crash in water.
crane come to lift car out of water.
car too heavy, crane crash into water.
bigger crane come to lift car out of water.
bigger crane have no problem with car.
bigger crane lift small crane out of water.
you do the math.

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem, part deux

26 November 2005

pilot women kick irish butt

took my girls to see their first soccer match friday night.

i am proud to say that i got four of the coveted sold-out-in-6-minutes tickets to see the pilot women play the fighting irish women to advance to the semifinals of the ncaa tournament.

what a game. up until the opening whistle, the weather was lousy. we drove home from the tacoma area in the worst possible weather, and we were certain we'd be drenched during the game. i know, i know, it isn't soccer unless it's raining, but when you have a wife and a 5-year-old with colds and coughs, you don't need to be sitting in the rain at night in 38-degree weather.

and then the gods of good weather held sway, and the game began under cloudy dry skies. oh, sure, it drizzled a couple of times during the game, but we couldn't have asked for better weather.

and what a game it was. annie (my 5-year-old) was oblivious to the game. oh, she had her fun, she stomped the bleachers when the crowd stomped the bleachers, and she generally had a great time. i bet she remembers nothing of the game itself--but then, she could prove me wrong. moira (my 11-year-old) was nothing but questions about the game all night. did she have a ball? oh, yeah.

and my wife? she had forgotten her coat, of all things. left it in yelm at her sister's house. thank god the rain stopped and we had blankets-aplenty.

best friday night we've had in a while. might even be better than harry potter. haven't seen it yet, but 105 minutes under the bright lights with 4,892 rabid screaming soccer fans is an experience my kids and i won't soon forget.

if only the next round were being played here.

pilots logo and photograph copyright © 2005 university of portland sports information office and americaneagle.com. used with permission. may not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the university of portland.

portland star striker christine sinclair,
who holds UP and west coast conference records
in career goals (108), career points (248),
single-season goals (37) (tie),
and single-season points (84),
and holds school records in career shots (451),
and career game-winners (38).

19 November 2005

excuuuse me, occifer. . .

driver achieves speed trap 'record'

november 18, 2005

swiss police were amazed to catch the same driver with the same speed camera no less than four times in one minute 37 seconds.

claiming he had no idea it was a speed trap, the driver said he returned three times because he thought someone was playing games with a flashgun and he wanted to double-check.

when their laughter had subsided, the police admitted that such a feat took precision driving and a "little bit of stupidity".

however, ignorance is no defense of the law, and the driver will be prosecuted for four separate speeding offenses under switzerland's tough traffic laws.

15 November 2005

i see your true colors shining through
i see your true colors and that's why i. . .
oh, never mind*

television evangelist pat robertson told the people of dover (pennsylvania) that they had rejected god by voting their school board out of office for supporting the teaching of intelligent design. robertson issued this warning on his daily television show the 700 club: "if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to god; you just rejected him from your city."

are we to believe proponents of intelligent design who say that they are not trying to inject religion into the classroom when yahoos like robertson are spewing vitriol like that? i think we are a little more intelligent than what robertson gives us credit for.

*apologies to cyndi lauper

11 November 2005

food for thought

according to the veterans affairs department, there are only eight veterans receiving pension or disability benefits from service in first world war.

using a list of 65,000 veterans alive in 1990 as a baseline, the census bureau estimates that there are only 30 to 50 american WWI veterans alive today.

the last known american veteran who was wounded in the war died in january 2004. he was 108.

thank a veteran today.

(source: yahoo! news/associated press)

10 November 2005

if there is a God, give me a sign

there are three religious truths:
  • jews do not recognize jesus as the messiah.
  • protestants do not recognize the pope as the leader of the christian faith.
  • baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at hooters.

i'm bored. i have nothing to do.

next time your kids complain they have nothing to do or that they're bored, instead of suggesting they go outside and ride a bike or that they pick up a book and read, here's a new suggestion for them:

run for mayor.

08 November 2005

my karma ran over your dogma

from the associated press:

revisiting a topic that exposed kansas to nationwide ridicule six years ago, the state board of education approved science standards for public schools tuesday which attempt to cast doubt on the theory of evolution.

the 6-4 vote was a victory for intelligent design advocates who helped draft the standards. (intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power.)

supporters of the new standards said they will promote academic freedom.

"it gets rid of a lot of dogma that's being taught in the classroom today," said board member john bacon.

(in othther words: let's get rid of dogma in the classroom by injecting dogma into the classroom.)

there are two colors of sky in oregon

from Orygone III;
or, Everything You Always Wanted
to Know About Oregon
but Were Afraid to Find Out
by James Cloutier

not so long ago,
in a supermarket not so far away. . .

04 November 2005

and now, live, from the scene of the crime. . .

is judith miller a roving reporter?

ready, aim. . .part deux

i used to think that people who left their W'04 stickers on their cars were gloating, and that they should get over it and move on. but i realized today that nobody sporting a W'04 sticker would consider "move on" as an option--sounds too much like moveon.org, i guess.

then a colleague of mine suggested this: don't people who sport W'04 stickers on their cars realize they're making themselves targets?

to which i replied: if people sporting W'04 stickers are of like mind with W, and W is of questionable mind. . .