15 June 2006

things to do in wal-mart if your wife is shopping
and you're bored

take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

approach an employee and tell her in an official tone, "code 3 in housewares. . ." and watch what happens.

go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of m&m's on layaway.

move a "caution - wet floor" sign to a carpeted area.

set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

when a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, " why can't you people just leave me alone?"

look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

while handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "mission impossible" theme.

in the auto department, practice your "madonna look" using different size funnels.

hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "pick me! pick me!"

when an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "no! no! it's those voices again!!!!"

go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait awhile; then, yell very loudly, "there is no toilet paper in here!”

thanks to sudbeck
for emailing these to me.
they're worth sharing