20 April 2006

what's good for the goose
is good for the gander

with all the hubbub over illegal immigration and all the protests and demonstrations by mexican americans, legal immigrants and illegals alike--their chief complaint is that illegals in this country should be treated as felons--it should be noted:

the mexican government treats illegal immigrants to that country as felons, and imprisons them for up to two years.

one mexican man was fatally shot last year because the local mexican police thought he was an illegal because of the darkness of his skin.

he wasn't illegal. he was born there.

source: abcnews

19 April 2006

thought du jour

no matter what ethical dilemmas you face
or what battles you fight every day,
you always have the right to choose
what you have for lunch.

-denny crane-

18 April 2006

seen on the north end of a southbound car
squeezed into a parking space fit for a motorcycle

you've seen 'em, maybe even have 'em yourself. it's called obstacle avoidance system or parking assist. basically it's sonar for the front and back bumpers of your car so that you don't scratch your precious paint, especially handy for those who are "parking space challenged" and who drive large cars with huge blind spots.

today i saw an obstacle avoidance system on a mini cooper.

what's up with that?

14 April 2006

men strike back

how many men does it take to open a beer?
none. it should be opened when she brings it.
why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.

why do women have smaller feet than men?
it's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.

how do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
when she starts a sentence with "a man once told me..."
how do you fix a woman's watch?
you don't. there is a clock on the oven.
why do men fart more than women?
because women can't shut up long enough
to build up the required pressure.

if your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
the dog, of course. he'll shut up once you let him in.
what's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
a woman who won't do what she's told.
i married a miss right.
i just didn't know her first name was always.
scientists have discovered a food that
diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
it's called wedding cake.
why do men die before their wives?
they want to.
women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.
in the beginning, god created the earth and rested.
then god created man and rested.
then god created woman.
since then, neither god nor man has rested.
send this to a few good men who need a laugh
and to the select few women who can handle the truth !

13 April 2006

i am the new editur in cheef of gramer and speling

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm! Tihs is bcuseae the hamun mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh, and I awlyas tohguht slpeling was ipmorantt.

07 April 2006

a troubling development. . .

here are the final standings in the
ncaa rifle championships which were held march 10:

1 alaska fairbanks
2 nebraska
3 army
4 navy

5 murray state

ARMY scored third? these are the kids we're sending to the front lines?


04 April 2006

03 April 2006

my life as a
mortgage account executive
day one


scripts to memorize, videos to watch, notes to take. . .all this information to cram in my head in the next three weeks!


wish me luck.

02 April 2006

voices inside my head, part deux

i wonder when the dreams about selling cars will end.

i know i start a new career tomorrow as a loan account executive for countrywide home loans. i suppose it's because i will miss the people at royal moore.

bill and tim i'll miss the most. thanks for the support and the friendship. i do feel a bit guilty about leaving you two in the lurch.

jason, for your support and encouragement, for believing in me, and for helping me get that fleet job (even though it was short-lived).

mike, for your support and friendship, and for driving me to become a better salesman, for your--shall we say--unique sense of humor, and our animated political discussions.

rick, for your fishing and hunting stories, your wild tales of salesmen and their misadventures in the car biz, for believing in me and my abilities, and for your support. sorry i didn't get a chance to say thanks and farewell face-to-face before i left.

todd and shawn, for your animated political diatribes, and for your support.

chris, for your wacky front porch rap. congrats on the wedding. hope vegas was a blast.

lacey, for your lovely smile and disposition. you could light up a room just by walking in.

peggy, for breaking all those fins.

connie, for your dry wit.

dana and sharon, for fielding all those endless questions about procedures and stuff while i was a mazda geek. i am sure i drove you crazy.

scott and ray, for handling all my technical queries with aplomb.

and the rest of you?

too many to name, too much to say.

i leave with a resounding (say it with me) THANK YOU!