30 January 2005

regret (v.)

Pain of mind on account of something done or experienced in the past, with a wish that it had been different; a looking back with dissatisfaction or with longing; grief; sorrow; especially, a mourning on account of the loss of some joy, advantage, or satisfaction.*

a cousin of mine is on the brink of the end of his days. he is in pennsylvania, i in oregon. worlds apart, through no fault of his.

i suppose i could've moved back east in my younger days and found gainful employment there, but the risk was great enough that i stepped back from the opportunity and remained where i was comfortable, and therefore lost the chance to live close to the bulk of my extended family.

but at what cost? to move away from hearth and home, mother, dad, brother? (sister was already gallavanting across the globe, seemingly footloose and fancy-free.) to uproot wife and child and tear them away?

why not? we were already 65o miles away in california. why not east?

were my notions of living among the family fold east of the mississippi realistic, or folly?

who knows?

i can only say this: i had a chance, and took it not. mea culpa.

gene, for what it's worth, my greatest regret is that i saw not nearly enough of you during your time here, and that i had the stupidity to remain out of touch as much as i did.

there'll be a hole where you once were, the depth and breadth of which i cannot fathom.

of this i am certain: for the support and love you gave my mother, especially in her time of grief, i am eternally grateful. you are the closest to a brother that my mother has in life, and you will be sorely missed, by more people and more than you can possibly know.

may God bless you, gene thompson, husband, father, doctor, healer. may He hold a special place for you in Heaven. say hello to josephine and john, to jeanne and hughie, to my dad, and to all of your other relations who i had not the pleasure to know in my lifetime. they are all waiting for you with open arms and hearts.

peace be with you.

28 January 2005

voices inside my head
echoes of things that you said

metaphysics question du jour
if you pay your exorcist, and your check bounces, do you get repossessed?

24 January 2005

please change your pants. my ears are hurting.

at least my 4 year old isn't color-blind.

she thinks as long as both the pants and the shirt have blue in them, they
go together.

the problem is that the blue in the pants is part of a blue-red checkerboard
with green, white and red christmas trees splashed all over the place. quite
attractive. they would make a helluva pair of '70s golf trousers.

the shirt is pink with tiny blue hearts all over the place, and
little yellow and red flowers to complete the valentine's day motif.

can you say loud? I shudder when i even think of the combination.

23 January 2005

a yellow LIVESTRONG bracelet can kill you

remember my friend who has cancer? (see birth. school. work. death.)

I was visiting her in hospital yesterday. in a casual conversation with her nurse I learned something very interesting.

if a patient has given the hospital a do-not-resuscitate (DNR) order, the patient is given a yellow bracelet.

some hospitals have taken to taping over LIVESTRONG bracelets (sold by the Lance Armstrong Foundation) on patients who wear them, and others insist the patient remove the LIVESTRONG bracelet entirely to avoid confusion in case of a catastrophic event such as heart stoppage.

just to confirm, i found this story on the AP wire:


Hospitals covering over LiveStrong bracelets, fearing a deadly mix-up

Friday, December 10, 2004

10:59 PST TAMPA, Fla. (Associated Press)

A hospital chain is taping over patients' LiveStrong wristbands because they are yellow -- the same color as the "do not resuscitate" bands it puts on patients who do not want to be saved if their heart stops.

(for the rest of the story, click here)

birth. school. work. donate marrow. . .life.

For information on bone marrow transplants, start here:

Thank you.

one ringy dingy, two ringy dingies

heard on an answering machine today:

"this is Frank. you can leave me a message, but i must warn you i get annoyed with messages that are hard to read. please use your shift key appropriately, avoid overdoing punctuation, and spell-check your message, or i might ignore it."

21 January 2005

is it possible to be half pregnant?

we had a bouncing baby boy.

let's try that again.

we just learned we had a bouncing baby boy. we just got the bill from providence medical center.

we didn't even know we were pregnant!

it seems another carrie mccarthy had a baby at providence, but she wasn't insured, so the bill went to my wife's account. briiliant accounting procedures, if ever I heard of them.

we've never been to ob/gyn or neonatal at providence. we only visited the ER when my wife broke her ankle two years ago.

can you get pregnant by breaking your ankle?

seen on the eastbound end of a car
headed westbound out of D.C. at 198 mph

in honor of yesterday's inauguration:
bumper sticker thought for the day:
If we quit voting, will they all go away?

20 January 2005

birth. school. work. death.

cancer is such a pisser. really. what's the point of a 40-year-old who's never lived near a hazardous waste dump getting leukemia? or a 10-year-old for that matter? where does juvenile leukemia come from?

I'm rambling.

one of my oldest and dearest friends has leukemia. she's only 40, for crying out loud. one of the sweetest, most generous people you could ever want to meet. 2 kids, nice husband. good christian woman who would never think an evil thought or hurt another being.

what's the point?

billy joel sang it best, I guess. only the good die young.

not if I can help. a lot of prayer. a lot of visits while she is in hospital to keep her spirits up.

and I am signing up for the bone marrow registry. hope you'll do the same. the life you save might be. . .

your kid's?

seen on the southbound end of a northbound car

in honor of today's inauguration:

bumper sticker thought for the day:

politicians & diapers both need to be changed, and for the same reason

19 January 2005

something out of the woodwork this way came

Just heard from Dave Hofman, Rayne Thompson and Sara Martin. Those three are always the first to respond to my email.

Anyone heard from Jonathan Hawes or Tracy Reith or Chris Herz or Rebecca Campbell lately?

What about Andrew McLoughlin, Ali Razavi, Pari Bose, Patrick Lannon, Jason Petredis, Sara Santa, Kathleen Clark, DeAnn Rolison, new mom Mary Bokovoy, "hometown girl" Ann Lai, Boston transplant Evan, Steve Smith, Tovar Milhollin, Andy Tauber? John Gieschen and John Fort? The inimitable Dave Janiszewski?

Did I forget ANYONE?

Updates would be appreciated.


my wife has a case of the crabs.

No, really. She's a first grade teacher, and she is doing a sea life unit, and the featured attraction is a couple of hermit crabs.

She asked me for some help writing a song about them, and this is what I came up with:

Sung to "It's a Small, Small World"

I'm a hermit crab and I live in a shell
And my life can be such a living hell
When I come out and wiggle
I make first graders giggle
It's a living hell.

Not appropriate for first graders, methinks. I'll try again tomorrow.

18 January 2005


Here we are, on a balmy January day. 58 degrees, humid. Feels like a cold day in the Bahamas in January 1983. . .but that's another story entirely.

Business is slow, customers are few and far between.

I miss my geek friends and our LAN games, chasing
beefpile and nerdygirl, blowing the snot out of them, although it was mostly beefpile who blew the snot out of me.

Oh, well.

More to come tomorrow. Day off. Might get something accomplished!

Later, kids.

17 January 2005

about me

i'm a geek. not a technogeek or an übergeek, mind you, just a geek.

i was shut out of a geek job during the dot-bomb of 2001--the damn company went bankrupt--and i was on some kind of self-imposed sabbatical for almost 6 years.

now, i am a full-fledged loan account executive for the country's biggest lender and have been there for 19 months (and counting--i have no plans to go anywhere!). . .and i love it!

good god, where did the time go?

anyway, back to reality.

married 17 years. i have two beautiful children, both girls. if you haven't seen them lately, you have no idea.

countrywide home loans • loans • loan • interest rate • home equity • cash out • debt consolidation • libor • cofi • mta • T-bill • treasury • federal reserve • combo loan • arm • fixed rate • adjustable rate • subprime • sub-prime • prime • interest only • interest-only • negative amortization • neg am • neg-am • real estate • foreclosure • bankruptcy • collection • fico • experian • trans union • equifax • credit report • percent • per cent • countrywide • full spectrum lending division • Toyota • Scion • Mazda • Subaru • Nissan • Daihatsu • Pontiac • Buick • GMC Trucks • Dodge • Chrysler • Jeep • Ford • Lincoln • Mercury • Mitsubishi • Hyundai • Kia • BMW • Volswagen • Chevrolet • Audi • Porsche • Mercedes-Benz • Daimler-Chrysler • Saab • Hummer • Cadillac • Aston Martin • Aston-Martin • Jaguar • Land Rover • Rolls-Royce • Bentley • Mini • Cars • Isuzu • Ferrari • lamborghini