“we had no idea anyone was buried there. . .”
what are the odds?
’nuf said. . .
if you’ve seen this man. . .
we can choose?
great paint job. . .
did we elect these people?
what goes around comes around. . .
and finally. . .
i would have guessed 20. . .
December 9:
We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shoveled for the first time ever and felt like a boy again. I did both the driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12:
The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor, Bob, tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll have so much snow by the end of winter, that I'll never want to see snow again. I don't think that's possible. Bob is such a nice man. I'm glad he's our neighbor.
December 14:
Snow, lovely snow! 8" last night. The temperature dropped to -20. The cold makes everything sparkle so. The wind took my breath away, but I warmed up shoveling the driveway and sidewalks. This is the life! The snowplow came back this afternoon and buried everything again. I didn't realize I would have to do quite this much shoveling, but I'll certainly get back in shape this way. I wish I wouldn't huff and puff so.
December 15:
20 inches forecast. Sold my van and bought a 4x4 Blazer. Bought snow tires for the wife's car and 2 extra shovels. Stocked the freezer. The wife wants a wood stove in case the electricity goes out. I think that's silly, we
aren't in Alaska, after all.
December 16:
Ice storm this morning. Fell on my butt on the ice in the driveway putting down salt. Hurt like crazy. The wife laughed for an hour, which I think was very cruel.
December 17:
Still way below freezing. Roads are too icy to go anywhere. Electricity was off for 5 hours. I had to pile the blankets on to stay warm. Nothing to do but stare at the wife and try not to irritate her. Guess I should've bought
a wood stove, but won't admit it to her. I hate it when she's right. I can't believe I'm freezing to death in my own living room.
December 20:
Electricity's back on, but had another 14" of the stuff last night. More shoveling. Took all day. Snowplow came by twice. Tried to find a neighbor kid to shovel, but they said they're too busy playing hockey. I think they're lying. Called the only hardware store around to see about buying a snow blower and they're out. Might have another shipment in March. I think they're lying. Bob says I have to shovel or the city will have it done and bill me. I think he's lying.
December 22:
Bob was right about a white Christmas because 13 more inches of the white stuff fell today, and it's so cold it probably won't melt until August. Took me 45 minutes to get all dressed up to go out to shovel and then I had to go to the bathroom. By the time I got undressed, went, and dressed again, I was too tired to shovel. Tried to hire Bob who has a plow on his truck for the rest of the winter, but he says he's too busy. I think he's is lying.
December 23:
Only 2" of snow today. And it warmed up to 0. The wife wanted me to decorate the front of the house this morning. What, is she nuts. Why didn't she tell me that a month ago? She says she did but I think she's lying.
December 24:
6" more snow packed so hard by snowplow, I broke the shovel. Thought I was having a heart attack. If I ever catch the guy who drives that snowplow, I'll drag him through the snow. I know he hides around the corner and waits for me to finish shoveling and then he comes down the street at 100 miles an hour and throws snow all over where I've just been! Tonight the wife wanted me to sing Christmas carols with her and open our presents, but I was busy watching for the snowplow.
December 25:
Merry Christmas. 20 more inches of the -#2$&# slop tonight. Snowed in. The idea of shoveling makes my blood boil. I hate the snow! Then the snowplow driver came by asking for a donation and I hit him over the head with my shovel. The wife says I have a bad attitude. I think she's an idiot. If I have to watch "It's a Wonderful Life" one more time I'm going to kill her.
December 26:
Still snowed in. Why did I move here? It was all HER idea. She's really getting on my nerves.
December 27:
Temperature dropped to -30 and the pipes froze.
December 28:
Warmed up to above -20. Still snowed in. She's driving me CRAZY!!!!
December 29:
10 more inches. Bob says I have to shovel the roof or it will cave in. That's the silliest thing I've ever heard. How dumb does he think I am?
December 30:
Roof caved in. The snow plow driver is suing me for a million dollars. The wife went home to her mother. 9" predicted.
December 31:
Set fire to what's left of the house. No more shoveling.
January 8:
1 feel so good. I just love those little white pills they keep giving me. Why am I tied to the bed?
--------------------------
author unknown
where we got it is a well-kept secret. . .
we braved the snow, and moira even learned a thing or two about snow and how it changes the way one drives. remember the movie cars? she learned the value of the advice turn right to go left.
the tree is up and decorated--likely the first time in her 14 years that we've gotten a tree home,
in the house, and decorated all in the same day.
four days to go.
may your days be merry and bright,
and may all your christmases be white.
and you pansies on the east coast think
The street is deep with the white stuff.
(our car, after 4 hours)
(the neighbor's, across the street)
we've had snow and ice now for a full week,
neither a bloody face nor a deputy's plea could stop a tow-truck driver from doing what he's paid to do. the clackamas county sheriff's office said a wilsonville woman fled her apartment monday night after getting assaulted by her boyfriend. with blood running down her face, she got in her car and sped across the parking lot to her grandmother's place, where she called 911.
the woman provided a statement to the responding sheriff's deputy and then stepped outside to find her car getting towed. the tow driver would not leave the car without making the woman pay a "drop fee."
"i explained to the tow driver that the woman was the victim of domestic violence," deputy wes hall told the oregonian newspaper. the deputy told him there was no place to park, so she left the car with its four-way flashers going, because she was trying to get away.
the deputy's arguments failed to persuade.
the driver, who works on commissions, was completely within his rights to tow the car or charge a drop fee to leave it, said charles white, general operations manager for retriever towing. the amount the woman paid has not been disclosed, but white said the fees can run as high as $160.
"the deputy has no right to tell him to drop the car without charging a fee," said white.
yeah. so much for the spirit of christmas, mister white.
vote on the poll at the left. . .
keep it moving, folks.
read the story here.
looks like the people at allstate are getting some heavy hitters to advertise for them.
rearrange the letters
-----------------------------
dormitory:
dirty room
presbyterian:
best in prayer
astronomer:
moon starer
desperation:
a rope ends it
the eyes:
they see
george bush:
he bugs gore
the morse code:
here come dots
slot machines:
cash lost in me
animosity:
is no amity
election results:
lies - let's recount
snooze alarms:
alas! no more z 's
a decimal point
I’m a dot in place
the earthquakes:
that queer shake
eleven plus two:
twelve plus one
and for the grand finale:
mother-in-law:
woman hitler
