the man who married my mothersent me this joke.it bears sharing.

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro Tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?"

Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy eh"?

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get into them."

Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his widow"

blonde joke

i read the greatest blonde joke today. it had me rolling on the floor.

happy chinese new year

woof

happy birthday to geekshappy birthday to geekshappy birthday boredstiffgeekshappy birthday to geeks

been here a year, and what a year it's been

i love the smell of impeachment in the morning

the whole business almost makes me nostalgic for the clinton impeachment, which now seems as quaint as the geneva convention: a relic of a happier, more innocent time in american history, a time when we fretted about secret tape recordings made by linda tripp instead of secret recordings made by the nsa.

rosa brooks,
latimes.com commentary

i love a parade

kids. gotta love 'em.

anna (the five year old) has been talking about nothing for the last two days except getting up today to see the rose parade. it was the last thing on her lips last night. "please wake me up to see the rose parade, daddy."

well, this morning, we woke her up. her mom did, anyway--i was at work. carrie said to a sleepyheaded anna, "time to get up. the parade is starting."

anna rushed out of bed, into the bathroom, did her thing, walked out of the bathroom, laid down on the hardwood floor in the hallway outside the bathroom door. . .

and fell asleep.

five minutes later, carrie woke anna again, and asked her if she wanted to see the parade.

anna asked, "on tv?"

"yes," said carrie.

so off tootled anna to the couch to watch the parade.

i don't know whether anna remained awake through the parade. i guess i'll learn when i get home.

joy to the world

Merry Christmas to all, from Moira and Anna,
from Carrie, and from Jim, the bored stiff geek.

Click picture to see cool animation

best excuse for being late to work

reports of a stalled jetliner on 122nd at powell

twas the night before christmas somewhere in iraq

´twas the night before christmas, he lived all alone
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

i had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this home did live.

i looked all about, a strange sight i did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

no stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

with medals and badges, awards of all kind,
a sober thought came through my mind.

for this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
i found the home of a soldier, once i could see clearly.

the soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

the face was so gentle, the room is such disorder,
not how i pictured a united states soldier.

was this the hero of whom i 'd just read?
curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

i realized the families that i saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

soon round the world, the children would play,
and grown-ups would celebrate a bright christmas day.

they all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

i couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold christmas eve in a land far from home.

the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
i dropped to my knees and started to cry.

the soldier awakened and i heard a rough voice,
"santa don't cry, this life is my choice;

i fight for freedom, i don't ask for more,
my life is my god, my country, my corps."

the soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
i couldn't control it i continued to weep.

i kept watch for hours, so silent and still
and we both shivered from the cold night's chill.

i didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.

then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, "carry on santa, it's christmas day, all is secure."

one look at my watch, and i knew he was right.
"merry christmas my friend, and to all a good night."

this poem was written
by a marine stationed in
okinawa, japan.
thanks to my cousin dpflynn
for emailing it to me.

spread it around.

i got my espn2 just in time

by a score of nil-nil and 4-3 on penalty kicks, the university of portland pilots edged the penn state nittany lions to advance to the championship round, to be played sunday.

star pilot striker christine sinclair (left) was held scoreless for the third straight game, so she'll need to kick a goal in the next game in order to set a new single-season scoring record of 38. no pressure, of course.

penn state star tiffany weimer, who scores an average of once for every three attempts on goal, was also held scoreless.

The real stars of the game were junior goalie cori alexander (right), who was stellar protecting the goal for the pilots, and penn state senior keeper erin mcleod, with 10 saves on goal.

so now it's on to face the ucla bruins. ucla hasn't seen an offense like portland's all year long, and the bruins have a five-game scoring streak of 25-nil coming into the finals, and they've shut out 17 of their last 19 ncaa tourney opponents. . .so it promises to be an exciting game.

you know where i'll be sunday--at home watching espn2!

pilots logo and photographs copyright ©2005 university of portland sports information office and americaneagle.com. used with permission. may not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the university of portland.

• • • • our first inductee• • • • into the• • • • bored stiff geeks• • • • hall of fame

carson williams has entirely too much time on his hands.
he must be a bored stiff geek.

click picture to see the ultimate christmas lights display.

thanks to realplayer.com,
members.cox.net,
and ifilm for this clip

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem, part trois

source unknown

air traffic lanes must be getting crowded

source unknown

someone was absent the dayintelligent design was handed out.

car crash in water.
crane come to lift car out of water.
car too heavy, crane crash into water.
bigger crane come to lift car out of water.
bigger crane have no problem with car.
bigger crane lift small crane out of water.
you do the math.

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem, part deux

pilot women kick irish butt

took my girls to see their first soccer match friday night.

i am proud to say that i got four of the coveted sold-out-in-6-minutes tickets to see the pilot women play the fighting irish women to advance to the semifinals of the ncaa tournament.

what a game. up until the opening whistle, the weather was lousy. we drove home from the tacoma area in the worst possible weather, and we were certain we'd be drenched during the game. i know, i know, it isn't soccer unless it's raining, but when you have a wife and a 5-year-old with colds and coughs, you don't need to be sitting in the rain at night in 38-degree weather.

and then the gods of good weather held sway, and the game began under cloudy dry skies. oh, sure, it drizzled a couple of times during the game, but we couldn't have asked for better weather.

and what a game it was. annie (my 5-year-old) was oblivious to the game. oh, she had her fun, she stomped the bleachers when the crowd stomped the bleachers, and she generally had a great time. i bet she remembers nothing of the game itself--but then, she could prove me wrong. moira (my 11-year-old) was nothing but questions about the game all night. did she have a ball? oh, yeah.

and my wife? she had forgotten her coat, of all things. left it in yelm at her sister's house. thank god the rain stopped and we had blankets-aplenty.

best friday night we've had in a while. might even be better than harry potter. haven't seen it yet, but 105 minutes under the bright lights with 4,892 rabid screaming soccer fans is an experience my kids and i won't soon forget.

if only the next round were being played here.

pilots logo and photograph copyright © 2005 university of portland sports information office and americaneagle.com. used with permission. may not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the university of portland.

portland star striker christine sinclair,
who holds UP and west coast conference records
in career goals (108), career points (248),
single-season goals (37) (tie),
and single-season points (84),
and holds school records in career shots (451),
and career game-winners (38).

excuuuse me, occifer. . .

driver achieves speed trap 'record'


november 18, 2005

swiss police were amazed to catch the same driver with the same speed camera no less than four times in one minute 37 seconds.

claiming he had no idea it was a speed trap, the driver said he returned three times because he thought someone was playing games with a flashgun and he wanted to double-check.

when their laughter had subsided, the police admitted that such a feat took precision driving and a "little bit of stupidity".

however, ignorance is no defense of the law, and the driver will be prosecuted for four separate speeding offenses under switzerland's tough traffic laws.

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem

i see your true colors shining throughi see your true colors and that's why i. . .oh, never mind*

television evangelist pat robertson told the people of dover (pennsylvania) that they had rejected god by voting their school board out of office for supporting the teaching of intelligent design. robertson issued this warning on his daily television show the 700 club: "if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to god; you just rejected him from your city."

are we to believe proponents of intelligent design who say that they are not trying to inject religion into the classroom when yahoos like robertson are spewing vitriol like that? i think we are a little more intelligent than what robertson gives us credit for.

source: new york times

*apologies to cyndi lauper

if you have nothing to say, say nothing at all