happy father's day.
15 June 2008
08 May 2008
03 May 2008
one minute she's crawling on the floor in diapers. . .the next minute, she's all grown up
13 going on 30, this one.
notice the dress moira's wearing? this dress was worn by her mother on one of our first dates back in 1986--22 years ago--when her mom was a freshman in college.
and now moira is filling the dress quite nicely. it may even fit her for another 9 or 10 years.
wear it to a semi-formal dance, she might.
wear it to her college graduation, just as her mother did.
and just yesterday, she was a baby bouncing on my knee.
time flies. it's so precious, almost as much as the children who occupy it.
reminds us not to waste it.
notice the dress moira's wearing? this dress was worn by her mother on one of our first dates back in 1986--22 years ago--when her mom was a freshman in college.
and now moira is filling the dress quite nicely. it may even fit her for another 9 or 10 years.
wear it to a semi-formal dance, she might.
wear it to her college graduation, just as her mother did.
and just yesterday, she was a baby bouncing on my knee.
time flies. it's so precious, almost as much as the children who occupy it.
reminds us not to waste it.
20 April 2008
oh the weather outside is. . .
check the date, folks. it's april. what's with the white stuff?
and there are more snow flurries in the forecast for monday. . .
yeesh.
04 April 2008
30 March 2008
thank you for calling technical support. may i help you?
mujibar was trying to get a job in india .
the personnel manager said, "mujibar, you have passed all the tests, except one. unless you pass it, you cannot qualify for this job."
mujibar said, "i am ready."
the manager said, "make a sentence using the words yellow, pink and
green."
mujibar thought for a few minutes and said, "mister manager, i am ready"
the manager said, "go ahead."
mujibar said, "the telephone goes green, green, and i pink it up, and say, 'yellow', this is mujibar."
mujibar now works at a call center. no doubt you have spoken to him. i know i have.
22 March 2008
code of the geeks
my geek code:
GCC/L/MC/MU d-(--)@>---$ s(+):(+) a+ C+(++)@>++++ !U--- P? L E? W(++)@>+++$ !N !o? K--? w(--)>--- !O M(+)$@>++ !V? PS+(++)>+++ PE(-) Y+? PGP? t(+)@>++ 5(-)>-- X(++) R-? tv+ b++(+++)>++++ DI+ !D G e++(+++)>++++ h----(---)>-- r+++ y++++>+++
14 March 2008
10 March 2008
get surreal
how surreal it was to come home from work to find this in my front yard.
i mean, i knew it was coming, but this makes it so. . .
. . .real, you know?
i mean, i knew it was coming, but this makes it so. . .
. . .real, you know?
it's my first house, for crying out loud, and it's for sale. now our lives are topsy-turvy--we have to be ready to leave on 15-minutes' notice so the house can be shown, which means the house has to be damn spotless all the time!
yikes.
kinda hits you where you live. bad pun, i know, but it works.
wish us happy bidding wars and offers over market value, willya?
02 March 2008
investment tips for the average bud
retirement planning for 2008
if you had purchased $1,000.00 of nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
with enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
with worldcom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
if you had purchased $1,000 of delta airlines stock you would have $49.00 left.
but, if you purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00.
based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
it's called the 401-keg plan.
if you had purchased $1,000.00 of nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00.
with enron, you would have had $16.50 left of the original $1,000.00.
with worldcom, you would have had less than $5.00 left.
if you had purchased $1,000 of delta airlines stock you would have $49.00 left.
but, if you purchased $1,000.00 worth of beer one year ago, drank all the beer, then turned in the cans for the aluminum recycling refund, you would have $214.00.
based on the above, the best current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.
it's called the 401-keg plan.
thanks to sbates for sharing
his advice on drinking for profit.
this plan is not recommended
for women who are pregnant
or for persons who have a
family history of alcolohism
or a tendency to become alcoholic.
seek the advice of a professional
investment counselor
or a physician
to learn whether the 401-keg plan
is right for you.
his advice on drinking for profit.
this plan is not recommended
for women who are pregnant
or for persons who have a
family history of alcolohism
or a tendency to become alcoholic.
seek the advice of a professional
investment counselor
or a physician
to learn whether the 401-keg plan
is right for you.
08 February 2008
04 February 2008
20 January 2008
19 January 2008
a riddle inside a puzzle, wrapped in an enigma. . .
last night, we were sitting around the dinner table discussing what we would do if we sold our house and moved to another. during a part of the conversation, we were discussing having enough room to jigsaw puzzles on the dinner table, and having the room to leave the puzzle there all the time.
as a jibe, my wife said to my oldest daughter, “you are a puzzle!”
in her best quick-witted retort to date, moira responded, “yeah—with a piece missing!”
as a jibe, my wife said to my oldest daughter, “you are a puzzle!”
in her best quick-witted retort to date, moira responded, “yeah—with a piece missing!”
moira: 2
isuzu: 0
16 January 2008
does red wine or white go with an isuzu?
we knew this day was coming.
eight years ago this summer, our lovely oldest daughter was in a car-versus-bike accident involving an isuzu rodeo. she was such a little p'up at the time.
she wasn't hurt badly, thank god. only two of her front teeth were knocked out, and her dentist came to the rescue by being at the emergency room when she arrived to be sure her teeth were reinserted properly. we knew there was a chance that the teeth would not hold for long, and that the roots would dissolve in her gums, and that eventually she'd need a false tooth or an implant.
today it happened. out came the tooth at the insistence of her dentist, and she has been fitted for a temporary false tooth. eventually she'll get an implant.
she's been a real trooper (pardon the isuzu references--it's completely intentional) through the whole ordeal.
even i, to cope with the accident, don't say she was hit by a car. i like to lighten it up a little. . .
. . .i say she tried to take a bite out of an isuzu.
we thank our lucky stars and god above that it wasn't worse.
moira: 1
isuzu: 0
eight years ago this summer, our lovely oldest daughter was in a car-versus-bike accident involving an isuzu rodeo. she was such a little p'up at the time.
she wasn't hurt badly, thank god. only two of her front teeth were knocked out, and her dentist came to the rescue by being at the emergency room when she arrived to be sure her teeth were reinserted properly. we knew there was a chance that the teeth would not hold for long, and that the roots would dissolve in her gums, and that eventually she'd need a false tooth or an implant.
today it happened. out came the tooth at the insistence of her dentist, and she has been fitted for a temporary false tooth. eventually she'll get an implant.
she's been a real trooper (pardon the isuzu references--it's completely intentional) through the whole ordeal.
even i, to cope with the accident, don't say she was hit by a car. i like to lighten it up a little. . .
. . .i say she tried to take a bite out of an isuzu.
we thank our lucky stars and god above that it wasn't worse.
moira: 1
isuzu: 0
and on the third day he rose from the pan?
please join me in remembering a great icon of the entertainment community. the pillsbury doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection & trauma complications from repeated pokes in the belly. he was 71.
doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. baker's dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including mrs. butterworth, hungry jack, the california raisins, betty crocker, the hostess twinkies, & cap'n crunch.
the grave site was piled high with flours. aunt jemima delivered the eulogy & lovingly described doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. he was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man & was considered a positive roll model for millions.
doughboy is survived by his wife play dough, 2 children, john dough & jane dough, plus they had one in the oven. he is also survived by his elderly father, pop tart.
the funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. baker's dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including mrs. butterworth, hungry jack, the california raisins, betty crocker, the hostess twinkies, & cap'n crunch.
the grave site was piled high with flours. aunt jemima delivered the eulogy & lovingly described doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. he was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half-baked schemes. despite being a little flaky at times he still was a crusty old man & was considered a positive roll model for millions.
doughboy is survived by his wife play dough, 2 children, john dough & jane dough, plus they had one in the oven. he is also survived by his elderly father, pop tart.
the funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
15 January 2008
life sucks. . .then you're dead
first-year students at texas a&m's vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. they all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. the professor started the class by telling them, "in veterinary medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a doctor: the first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body."
as an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. the students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. but eventually they took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.
when everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "the second most important quality is observation. i stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. now learn to pay attention. life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."
as an example, the professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck it in his mouth. "go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students. the students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes. but eventually they took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.
when everyone finished, the professor looked at them and said, "the second most important quality is observation. i stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. now learn to pay attention. life's tough, it's even tougher if you're stupid."
thanks to cycledon for sending this to me.
12 January 2008
holy dorsal fins, batman!
A family was on holiday in Australia for a week and a half when husband, wife and their 15-year-old-son decided to go scuba diving.
The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience. His son wanted a pic of his mum and dad in all their gear so got the underwater camera on the go.
When it came to taking the pic the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was all right.
The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK.
When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat in an absolute panic. When the parents asked why, he said "There was a shark behind you" and the dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true, and that they wouldn't believe him if he told them what it was.
As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop.
Click here to see what they saw.
The husband is in the navy and has had some scuba experience. His son wanted a pic of his mum and dad in all their gear so got the underwater camera on the go.
When it came to taking the pic the dad realized that the son looked like he was panicking as he took it and gave the "OK" hand sign to see if he was all right.
The son took the pic and swam to the surface and back to the boat as quick as he could so the mum and dad followed to see if he was OK.
When they got back to him he was scrambling onto the boat in an absolute panic. When the parents asked why, he said "There was a shark behind you" and the dad thought he was joking but the skipper of the boat said it was true, and that they wouldn't believe him if he told them what it was.
As soon as they got back to the hotel they put the pic onto the laptop.
Click here to see what they saw.
06 January 2008
first of all, young man, you've got geek disease*
it seems my girls (all 3) have gotten a bite from the geek bug--the bored stiff geek bug, that is. carrie discovered a new hobby called geocaching, in which various items are hidden around the world, clues are sprinkled around the internet complete with gps coordinates, and hints about the nature of the booty are part of the description. (a gps device is essential. you download the coordinates of the cache, and the gps tells you which direction to go and how far away you are.)
for example: What?? (was I thinking when I named these caches) is the name of the first find.
its description reads like this:
Log, No writing utensil.
I drove by this place a couple times and seen it from the hwy. So thought I would check it out. Is this like the cart before the horse?? There is NO need to climb, mess up landscaping, nothing needs to be messed up to get the cache. No need to get wet although I personally wouldn't Stop you if you were so inclined. Medication is not always a bad thing....Just a quick cache. I parked at the false start. play play play...
Additional Hint: Zrqf. ebpx!!!
for example: What?? (was I thinking when I named these caches) is the name of the first find.
its description reads like this:
Log, No writing utensil.
I drove by this place a couple times and seen it from the hwy. So thought I would check it out. Is this like the cart before the horse?? There is NO need to climb, mess up landscaping, nothing needs to be messed up to get the cache. No need to get wet although I personally wouldn't Stop you if you were so inclined. Medication is not always a bad thing....Just a quick cache. I parked at the false start. play play play...
Additional Hint: Zrqf. ebpx!!!
Decryption Key
ABCDEFGHIJKLM
-------------
NOPQRSTUVWXYZ
(letter above equals below,
and vice versa)
(decrypted: Meds. rock!!!)
ABCDEFGHIJKLM
-------------
NOPQRSTUVWXYZ
(letter above equals below,
and vice versa)
(decrypted: Meds. rock!!!)
turns out there was a medicine bottle in a hole in a rock, in which there was a tiny notepad (log) on which you are supposed to write your name and time you visited. lots of names and dates on the log.
seems geocaching is quite the phenomenon. worldwide, even. you can make quite an adventure out of the most mundane trip to germany or poland or aruba. all you need is a handheld gps device, a reasonable sense of direction, and a bagful of loot. some of the geocaches allow you to remove an item so long as you leave an item. in lost my marbles, you take a marble and leave a marble.
in magness, there is an ammunition box left by the mount hood geocaching club (there are ten others around oregon) full of loot. sign the log, take one, leave one.
the cool thing about the geocaches is that many of the treasures are hidden on private or semi-private property, and the property owners themselves have given permission to hide stuff on their land, knowing full well that people are going to be-a-traipsing through their yards, digging under logpiles or rooting in tree stumps looking for hidden treasure. many of these homeowners or property managers are geocachers themselves.
we really had a rollicking good time--even in the driving wind and the rain.
seems geocaching is quite the phenomenon. worldwide, even. you can make quite an adventure out of the most mundane trip to germany or poland or aruba. all you need is a handheld gps device, a reasonable sense of direction, and a bagful of loot. some of the geocaches allow you to remove an item so long as you leave an item. in lost my marbles, you take a marble and leave a marble.
in magness, there is an ammunition box left by the mount hood geocaching club (there are ten others around oregon) full of loot. sign the log, take one, leave one.
the cool thing about the geocaches is that many of the treasures are hidden on private or semi-private property, and the property owners themselves have given permission to hide stuff on their land, knowing full well that people are going to be-a-traipsing through their yards, digging under logpiles or rooting in tree stumps looking for hidden treasure. many of these homeowners or property managers are geocachers themselves.
we really had a rollicking good time--even in the driving wind and the rain.
*apologies to dire straits, industrial disease
25 December 2007
i'm dreaming of a white christmas
for the first time in (how many??) years, it's snowing on christmas day.
it's going to be a good year.
it's going to be a good year.
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