beannachtaí na féile pádraig oraibh!

pronunciation guide: BAN•nock•tee nah AY•luh PAW•rig OH-riv


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------

the population of ireland is 80 million. of those 80 million,
only 7.5 million actually keep full-time residence on the island.

on saint patrick's day, the population of ireland swells to 6.692 billion.

among the population of the USA,

41 million or so claim to be wholly or partly of Irish descent,
making the Irish the second-largest ethnic group in the country,

second only to German-Americans.

hey mister, can you spare a penny?

Where a Meal Can Cost a Fortune, 99¢ Pizza Catches On

By MANNY FERNANDEZ

The signs at the corner of Ninth Avenue and West 41st Street have an unbelievable, you-gotta-be-kidding quality, like free beer or affordable housing — 99¢ Fresh Pizza. Like many things in New York City, they are also too good to be true. They are off by a penny, as one slice actually costs one dollar.  read more >>

an invisible car came out of nowhere, struck me, and vanished!

this story happened a while ago in dublin , and even though it sounds like an alfred hitchcock tale, it's true.


-----------------


john bradford, a dublin university student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a storm. the night was rolling on and no car went by. the storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and st opped.


john, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door, only to realize there was nobody behind the wheel, and the engine wasn't running!! the car started moving slowly. john looked at the road ahead and saw a curve approaching. scared, he started to pray, begging for his life.


then, just before the car hit the curve, a hand appeared through the window and turned the wheel. john, paralyzed with terror, watched as the hand repeatedly came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.


shortly thereafter john saw the lights of a pub appear down the road. gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.


a silence came over the pub when everybody realized he was crying. . .and he wasn't drunk.


suddenly, the door opened. two more people walked in from the stormy night. they, like john, were also soaked and out of breath. they saw john bradford sobbing at the bar, and one said to the other, "look paddy--there's that fecking eedjit that got in the car while we were pushing it!!"


-----------------

thanks to grammy for sharing this

3.14 out of 4 people love to eat pi.

happy pi day.

3.14159265358979323846264338327950288419716939937510

peeve of the week

organically grown

oh, come on. don't you realize that if it comes from a plant or animal (which contains carbon -- remember your high school biology, anyone? anyone? bueller? bueller?), then it's organic by its very nature?


to label a food product organic because it contains no pesticides or chemical fertilizers is false advertising.


or just plain ignorant.


what's next, organic rayon? authentic simulated leather? synthetic natural gas?


bueller? bueller? anyone? anyone?

as if your firstborn wasn't enough. . .

LOAN UNDERWRITING GUIDELINE
CHANGES EFFECTIVE IMMEDIATELY

• All borrowers' birth certificates will be required with pictures taken in hospital with medical staff. Birth certificate for a home delivery will not be eligible for first-time homebuyers.
• Marriage certificate with picture of couple dressed in full bridal regalia will be required if both husband and wife are required to qualify for the loan.
• Good Faith Estimate will not require signature, but will require blood sampling from a recognized institution within three days of application.
• DNA test will be performed at closing to avoid any non-arms-length transactions. Loan funding will be contingent upon satisfactory receipt of DNA results.
• Verification of deposit will be acceptable only if Bank representative is present at the closing.
• Copy of Paystubs and W2 will only be acceptable in an envelope with unbroken wax seal stamped with a signet ring, and hand-carried to the lender directly from IRS via Wells Fargo Coach Messenger Service.
• Seven witnesses from the neighborhood will be required as proof of primary residence if borrower owns more than 1 property.
• All appraisers will be required to use masks and ear plugs at the time of inspection to avoid any personal influence by the borrower or broker for the appraised value.
• In order to correctly calculate debt/income ratio and true housing ratio, a list of grocery items, monthly usage and brand names will be required with receipts and projected 12-month consumption chart.
• Closing will not occur without loan officer presence at settlement and loan officer picture will be taken at closing in a mugshot format with loan number. Picture should meet standard US Passport guideline of 2x2 inch in color format, one facing forward and one in profile.
• Loan officer picture will be attached to the Deed and Note and will be made available for general public and security agencies in case borrower defaults on the loan.

-- thank you EBoone --

i can hear pat robertson now. . .

. . .spewing forth his venom that the new president of chile
must be evil and therefore is the cause for their latest
earthquake.

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/03/12/world/americas/12chile.html?hp

from the think-before-you-speak department. . .

"horizon air proudly donates a portion of the proceeds from
our complimentary in-flight service to the preservation of
glacier national park. . ."

--spoken by a flight attendant, describing
complimentary beverage and snack service--

some say that when you tell him to think fast, his head turns to the right as a result of torque steer.

all we know is, he's called The Stig.

your password will change in 3 days. do you wish to change it now?

During a recent password audit, it was found
that an employee was using the following password: 

"MickeyMinniePlutoHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento" 

When asked why she had such a long password,
she said she was told that it had to be at least 8 characters long
and include at least one capital.

some say that when he sneezes, he sounds suspiciously like the blowoff valve on a turbocharger.

all we know is, he's called The Stig.

time lapse around the world. cool stuff

michael flatley has nothing on these guys

watch it to the end. it'll make you laugh and cry. 


even simon cowell raved, "absolute, utter genius."

so get away from this door and get out of this place, or I'll have to hurt you - put my foot in your face.

happy birthday, dr. seuss.

The Straight Poop (Moonlighting, Season 3)

• 
  
  Security Officer: I'm sorry, but you're not on the guest list.
• 
  
  David Addison: That's because we're not guests. We're looking for a man with a mole on his nose.
• 
  
  Security Officer: A mole on his nose?
• 
  
  Maddie Hayes: A mole on his nose.
• 
  
  Security Officer: [to Maddie] What kind of clothes?
• 
  
  Maddie Hayes: [to David] What kind of clothes?
• 
  
  David Addison: What kind of clothes do you suppose?
• 
  
  Security Officer: What kind of clothes do I suppose would be worn by a man with a mole on his nose? Who knows?
• 
  
  David Addison: Did I happen to mention, did I bother to disclose, that this man that we're seeking with the mole on his nose? I'm not sure of his clothes or anything else, except he's Chinese, a big clue by itself.
• 
  
  Maddie Hayes: How do you do that?
• 
  
  David Addison: I read a lot of Dr. Seuss.
• 
  
  Security Officer: I'm sorry to say, I'm sad to report, I haven't seen anyone at all of that sort. Not a man who's Chinese with a mole on his nose with some kind of clothes that you can't suppose. So get away from this door and get out of this place, or I'll have to hurt you - put my foot in your face.
• 
  
  Maddie Hayes and David Addison (in unison): Gotta go!

five years? where has the time gone?

the Lord bless you and keep you
the Lord make his face to shine upon you
and be gracious unto you
the Lord lift his countenance upon you
and give you peace

diane sunde graham

18 august 1964 - 1 march 2005

my oldest, dearest friend
i cannot find

the words to say

how much you are missed

i swear to you

that i will try

to be as dear a friend

to mike, matthew and amanda

as you are to me

say hello

to your mother and father

who you missed so much

these last fifteen years

keep watch over Carol

and her family

for she loves you

and needs you

and is part of you

and will remember you

the rest of her days.

she is good

and pure

and needs your strength

and courage.

please find my dad

shout to him as you did to me

flash him your radiant smile

and warm him with your embrace

save a seat near you

at God's banquet for me

for i love you

as only a best friend could.

i weep

because you are gone

but i rejoice

because you are here

in my heart

and in my mind

always and forever.

time is irrelevant

in the scheme of eternity

for our life here is but

a blink of God's eye.

there are some who believe

that the journey from here

to Paradise

takes a stop along the way

to cleanse us and make us ready

to see the face of God.

i believe

with all my heart

and all my soul

that you found yourself

in the presence of God

the moment you left us

here in this life,

and that surely

your goodness and love

is as perfect as can be

and that you need not

make that stop along the way.

on the random, remotest chance

that you are still making the journey,

that you are moving

toward the light still,

i offer a simple thought,

spoken on the occasion

of my dad's funeral fifteen years ago.

it is, quite simply,

one of the most beautiful prayers

i have ever heard,

and since you are, quite simply,

one of the most beautiful people

i will ever know,

it bears repeating for you.

it

is

said

by some

that when a bell

rings, a soul, waiting

to get into Heaven, gets

its wings to take it there.

the next time i hear a bell

i will close my eyes and pray

with all my heart and all my soul

that you get your wings to speed

you to

Heaven

glory be to the Father

and to the Son

and to the Holy Spirit

as it was in the beginning

is now

and ever shall be

the world without end

amen

rest in peace,
dearest friend.

water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. . .

why is it, when water is so darned plentiful in oregon, that bottled water is so darned expensive?

newest offerings from smart cars, part deux

first, we had this

what's next?

---------------------------------------

Not even sure it's got a name...

From its 'why-would-you-do-that' department, smart has developed a fortwo with monster ambitions.

The forfun² has the body of a smart fortwo mounted on an all-terrain Mercedes-Benz Unimog 406 series. The Greek 4x4 Rally Champion, Stefan Attart, joined forces with Mercedes-Benz Greece, to design and develop this one-off vehicle.

The engine and transmission are adopted from the Unimog and the vehicle has a six-cylinder diesel engine with a capacity of 5,675 cc delivering 84 bhp. By comparison, a fortwo diesel has a 41 bhp engine.

The vital statistics of the forfun² include ground clearance of more than 2ft, eye popping tires on 26 inch rims, and a towering 12 ft height.

Attart wanted maximum off-road mobility which makes the Unimog 406 the perfect platform. He added oversized wheels, an aluminium safety cage, and his design team used special shock absorbers with manually controlled air suspension, which is an advantage on steep downhill slopes.

Er -- that's it...

-------------------------

as crafty198 wrote, "Damn it why can't I get a job thinking up great things to do with cars and a few thousand quid!!"

stupid chemistry thought for the day

if you're not part of the solution, you're a solid or a gas

if only my clients would read this. . .

if only my clients would read this. . .then they would not feel slimed by the best of us who are only trying to do the right thing. . .

pour me a pint o' your best, barkeep.

In Canada, an Artwork With Its Own Barkeeps

click me

Bad Prediction of the day

"there is no reason anyone would want a computer in their
home."

-- ken olson, president, chairman and founder
of digital equipment corp., 1977 --

Xīn Nián Kuài Lè

warming, schwarming.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Unusually Large Snowstorm
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

hiya, speedy

one word: decadent.

had dinner at the olive garden last night. all was going well until dessert came.

i ordered these italian doughnuts called zeppoli. bite-sized pastries, dusted in powdered sugar and cinnamon, and served with a cup of hot fudge for dipping.

i gained 5 pounds just smelling the damn things.

if you haven't tried them, you haven't lived.

some say

don't feed them, they'll breed!

the lieutenant governor of south carolina has compared schoolchildren who eat free lunches, to stray animals.

don't believe me? watch the clip

happiness is a warm gun. . .

"the question put to a succession of arms industry executives last may was always the same: would you pay bribes to get a piece of a $15 million contract to equip the presidential guard of an african country?


according to the justice department, almost two dozen executives said yes, put it in writing and wrote checks — without realizing that the african officials getting the bribes were actually undercover FBI agents."

nytimes.com

the password is. . .

Simple Passwords Remain Popular, Despite Risk of Hacking

from

this just in

in our completely unscientific poll of a random sampling of 6 americans, 66.6 percent said enough hot air already", and 33.3 percent said "can't wait to see her", when asked about sarah palin being a contributor to fox news.

some of these poor geeks are going to be more bored than they've known in a while

AOL to Lay Off Up to 1, 200--NYTimes.com/AP, January 11


SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The struggling Internet company AOL was laying off up to 1,200 workers this week because it didn't get enough volunteers to accept buyouts.


The cuts will leave AOL at less than a quarter the size it was at its peak in 2004.

you shook me all night long. . .

here's a before and after shot of the national palace in port-au-prince, haiti, showing the damage wrought by the quake. it boggles the mind.

words of wisdom, from a loan officer's perspective, part deux

embrace the crap

-- jason asher --

how's the air up there?

thanks to kottke.org, kizmodo, and the green room

for these perspectives on the new
burj khalifa (a.k.a. burj dubai) in dubai

i wasn't going to say anything, part deux

sarah palin made her debut on fox news last night on the o'reilly factor.

is it just me, or does she look like a deer in the headlights again?

i wasn't going to say anything, but something must be said

sarah palin is going to contribute to fox news.

so who's going to be her ghostwriter?

moooooooooooo

Uniquely Painted Homes on the Cyberhomes Blog

well, that was brief

talk about your going out in a blaze of. . .

well, it was more like blowing out a birthday candle

NBC Ending Leno's Nightly Prime-Time Show

story here

up, up and awayin my beautiful balloon

my niece was kind enough to give my girls a copy of the movie UP (disney/pixar) for christmas. they'd already seen it, carrie and i had not.

the advance previews were cute, but left us with an expectation of the movie which was, in a word, wrong.

in this case, that was ok. don't get me wrong, but the movie had its cute and funny parts, particularly dug and alpha (the dogs), but the story itself was the real charm. it was sensitive, moving, charming, funny, sad, illuminating, bitter and sweet all in one package.

i don't mind admitting being moved to tears at more than one occasion in the movie.

it was, in short, that good. if you haven't seen it, see it. if you have, see it again.

and again.

i'm dreaming of a white. . .whenever

it finally snowed today. took me two-and-a-half hours to drive home. . .usually takes 20 minutes in the evening. for you mathematicians, that's 7.5 times the normal commute time.

my reward came when i got home. my daughter was out on the driveway ready to play in the snow. . .at 8:00 p.m. she even wanted to shovel the sidewalks. my nine-year-old!

and the other reward? just look at the house. made the drive worth the postcard from home.

kids. . .can't live with 'em,can't ship them offto the north poleto be santa's slaves

this is what you see. . .

this is what they are really thinking. . .

the kids were feeling guiltyabout shaking all those presentsall morning long just to guess what was inside each one. . .

our fifth annual inducteeinto the boredstiffgeekshall of fame

another example of someone

with too much time on his hands

thank you for callingtechnical support. . .part deux

too funny. may be 2 years old, but gets funnier every time.

i can't believe we fit the whole thing

a week ago, our family went out on a very cold day. . .30 degrees and windy, but thankfully, no snow or rain.

we found this tree farm near our home which was selling these incredible noble firs, and so we cut one down, strapped it to the roof of our car, and drove it home. . .

. . .slowly, for it is a big tree, and we don't have a truck.

anyway, my wife's eyes were bigger than the room. she thought we had 10-foot ceilings. . .turned out to be 9-foot ceilings. once we got the tree in, we had to lop off a foot of the tree trunk. . .

inside the house. . .

with a circular saw.

sawdust. everywhere. so much that our vacuum cleaner clogged up and i had to install a new bag.

i digress.

so here we are, with a completely decorated christmas tree for our first christmas in our new house. i can't believe it's christmas already. six months have gone by so quickly.

i hope you like our humble tree.

may the blessings of the holiday be upon you in all abundance, whether you celebrate christmas, chanukkah, kwanzaa, or any other holiday. (we do strive (tongue firmly planted in cheek) for some degree of political correctness. hahaha.)

merry christmas to all, and to all a good night.

thought for the day

another balmy day in paradise, part deux

it was 14 degrees on my front porch this morning.

where's the 102 when we need it?

igoogle.com

it's beginning to look a lot like. . .whoops!

good news is that i truly outdid myself this year with my christmas decorations. the bad news is that i had to take them down after two days.

i had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. great stories. but two things made me take them down.

first, the police advised me that they would cause traffic accidents as drivers almost wrecked when they drove by.

second, a 55-year-old lady who grabbed the 75-pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house. she didn't realize the man on the gutter was fake until she climbed to the top--she was not happy.

she was one of many people who attempted a rescue.

my yard couldn't take it either. i have more than a few tire tracks where people drove into my yard.

--author unknown--

happy national corduroy day (11/11)

je vous verrai quand je te vois

s'il vous plaît pardonnez ma traduction approximative - je suis un peu rouillé. Je n'ai pas parlé ou écrit en français dans près de vingt ans.

Roger Eyraud était vraiment un bon gars. il a toujours été rapide avec un mot gentil, un bonjour, un mot de préoccupation, encore plus rapide avec son esprit. depuis qu'il a appris que je pouvais parler français, je n'ai jamais été à l'abri de ses tentatives de conversation en français occasionnels, voire sournoise son double sens. il voulait même me présenter à son père pour que nous puissions converser en français.

il n'est jamais arrivé. aurait dû, aurait pu, aurait.

Roger était un bon professeur, un grand collègue, un mentor exceptionnel. J'ai beaucoup appris de Roger. mon seul souhait est que j'avais plus de temps pour apprendre à mieux le connaître.

roger va nous manquer beaucoup.

click here for translation

i bleed pinstripes

it was a bear of a day at the kyrgyzstan circus

a bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in bishkek, the capital of kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, kyrgyz officials said friday.

in the incident, which happened thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, dmitry potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.

"the incident occurred during a rehearsal by the russian state circus company troupe which was performing in bishkek with the program, bears on ice," ministry of culture and information director kurmangazy isanayev told reporters.

it is unclear what caused the bear to attack potapov, 25, nearly severing one of his legs while dragging him across the ice by his neck. medical personnel were unable to save potapov, who died at the scene.

the 29-year-old circus trainer yevgeny popov, who attempted to rescue potapov, was also severely injured, according to doctors.

"the victim has sustained serious injuries - deep scalp lacerations, bruising of the brain, lacerations on his body. his condition is considered critical," dr. gulnara tashibekova told reporters on russian state television.

after the incident, the circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers. experts have been brought in to examine the bear, which was shot and died at the scene.

russia has a long-standing tradition of training bears to perform tricks such as riding motorcycles, ice skating, and playing hockey. fatal attacks are unusual

--from cnn.com

happy 57th anniversary

happy birthday to you. . .

happy 17 again

=8-D

always young at heart

in the words of the great philosopher,baz luhrmann,everybody should wear sunscreen

2 words. skin cancer. mildest kind--of the basal-cell carcinoma variety. had it removed from my nose, and am having my nose reconstructed wednesday.

------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. . .the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. . .the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. . .what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. . .don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. . .
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…