bowling for dollars

took the girls bowling last night. started at 8, finished at 10:30. thought for certain annie would be tuckered out by then, but noooooo--by the time we got home at 11 they were both still swinging from the vines like chimps.

we hadn't bowled in almost two years, but we had a ball. i rolled a night's high of 183, and the girls each threw a couple of strikes and a handful of spares. not bad at all.

we should do that more often.

how do you know when you're flying over africa?

thanks to momski
for sharing this

stumbled across a cool naming scheme on an old coworker's blog today

click here: name hyphenation scheme

i see your true colors shining throughi see your true colors and that's why i. . .. . .oh, never mind, part deux*

on monday, george bush made his recitation of all the reasons why he went to war against saddam hussein in iraq, concluding that "the terrorists attacked us and killed 3,000 of our citizens before we started the freedom agenda in the middle east."

then came the question. "what did iraq have to do with that?"

"what did iraq have to do with what?", replied the president.

duh, with the 9/11 attacks on the world trade center and the pentagon.

w's reply?

"nothing."

so why the hell are we there?

source: marie cocco, post writer's group
*apologies to cyndi lauper, again!

to read the whole column, click here

they go away for two weeks and then they don't even recognize you standing in the airport.

the girls went off to hawaii two weeks ago, and came back today. i was supposed to meet them in the baggage claim area, i will admit, but i was early, so i went upstairs to the concourse level and stood in a semi-conspicuous spot.

as they approached, i caught annie's eye, and waved to her. she almost waved back. then moira spotted me, and i waved to her too. they gave me that look. you know, the one which says "who's that strange looking guy over there waving at me in the airport?"

i can't feel too bad. after all, i had grown a goatee in the two weeks they were gone, so i was not my usual strange-looking self.

my wife and kids went to hawaiiand all i got were the lousy choresaround the house while they were gone

two weeks ago monday my wife and girls jetted off to the island of hawaii. my mom (bless her) has been checking in on me from time to time to see if i am "batch-ing" it well. it has its ups and downs, but the solitude (i.e. the lack of screaming kids) has its benefits.

why, you ask, did i pass up a vacation to hawaii? no simple answer, that. you see, when i took my new job at countrywide on april 3, i thought it might not be prudent to skip off to the islands after a scant 3 months of work, never mind the fact that we had been planning this vacation for a year.

so i sacrificed a vacation and worked 10- to 11-hour days while the girlz were gone, knowing full well that i couldn't be guilted or nagged for working long hours. we'll see what happens when they get back.

i have had some time to catch up on some stuff around the house, and to stay in touch with friends lost over the years, and to remember silly stuff like birthdays (see here).

on the homefront, i even got to test my new media room all by myself and crank up the surround sound without worry about anyone asking me to turn it down.

tuesday morning, it all comes to a close.

next year, i pick the vacation spot. methinks the east coast is due for a visit soon so we can show off the girls to all my cousins.

happy birthday susy fischer.
happy birthday gene.

happy birthday, dear friend

diane sunde graham

18 august 1964 - 1 march 2005

there's a hole
in our hearts
where you once were

we miss you dearly
and celebrate you

for even though
there's a hole
in our hearts
where you once were

we would not be
as complete
were it not for you.

methinks i have a plank in me eye

a woman i know. . .let's call her mom. . .went to the doctor recently to have her eyes examined because of some irritation or another. she wasn't sure whether the cataract surgery (i.e. lens removal and replacement) she had had a year or two back was coming back to haunt her, it's just that her eye was bothering her, so like the prudent woman she is, she went back to the eye doc.

know what they found? not one, not two, but three contact lenses embedded around the side or top or bottom of her eye.

mom hasn't worn contacts since before the surgery.

what are you up to lately?

life has changed.

my stupid for not updating boredstiffgeeks about the goings-on in my life, but now that i have a spare moment, i thought i'd post an original thought.

on april 1, i quit my job as a huckster (car salesman) and joined the ranks of the mortgage industry. it kind of fell in my lap, and i jumped at the opportunity.

countrywide home loans offered me a mortgage account exec position in the beaverton office, and since then i have been stressing and pulling my hair out. oh, it's a different kind of stress. i got so used to dealing with customers on a one- or two-visit basis that the most stressful thing was wondering (sometimes) from where the next customer was coming.

now i have the opposite problem, and it's a good problem to have. too many leads to handle, and i have to manage the customers' applications until their mortgages are completely funded, a three-week-or-so process.

and all that paperwork. yikes. keeping track of it is a headache in itself, but it's ok.

my office is new, too. the whole branch, that is. and we've risen to the top two or so in the whole company for fastest growth to 50 loans in a month, for leads-to-loans conversion, for conversions of particular types of leads. it's amazing. i am told that normally one who joins the ranks as a newbie (as i did) would expect a two- or three-loan month each month until about six months in. there are newbies in my office doing eight to ten! i did six in the second month, and will do seven or eight this month.

blows the mind.

i am now going to try to enjoy my weekend and keep work off the brain. believe me. . .it's hard not to take work home, if you know what i mean.

a dangerous situation

in front of you is a galloping pig which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it.

behind you is a helicopter flying at ground level.

both the giant pig and the helicopter are also travelling at the same speed as you.

what must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?


click here for answer


.

close only counts in horseshoes, hand grenades. . .and air shows

glad i don't live in hillsboro. . .

one-hundred-ten percent? bull***t, i say

this is a strictly mathematical viewpoint. it goes like this:

what makes 100%? what does it mean to give more than 100%? ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? we have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. how about achieving 103%? what makes up 100% in life?

here's a little mathematical formula that might help you answer these questions:

if:
a b c d e f g h i j k l m n o p q r s t u v w x y z

is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

then:

h-a-r-d-w-o-r-k
8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 = 98%

and

k-n-o-w-l-e-d-g-e
11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

and,

a-t-t-i-t-u-d-e
1+20+20+9+20+21+4+5 = 100%

but,

b-u-l-l-s-h-i-t
2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

and look how far ass kissing will take you.

a-s-s-k-i-s-s-i-n-g
1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7 = 118%

so, one can conclude with mathematical certainty that while hard work and knowledge will get you close, and attitude will get you there, it's the bullshit and ass-kissing that will put you over the top. it’s the ass-kissers and bullshitters who say they are giving 110%.

thanks to chuck
for emailing this to me
it's worth sharing,

i don't know how bob dole's luggagewound up in my trunk

"i was stressed out, so i went to see the doctor
and I told him i was worried about the upcoming election. . ."

rush limbaugh

yes, i'm a liberaland I listen to rush limbaugh

things to do in wal-mart if your wife is shoppingand you're bored

take 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.

set all the alarm clocks in housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.

approach an employee and tell her in an official tone, "code 3 in housewares. . ." and watch what happens.

go to the service desk and ask to put a bag of m&m's on layaway.

move a "caution - wet floor" sign to a carpeted area.

set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you’ll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.

when a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask, " why can't you people just leave me alone?"

look right into the security camera; use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.

while handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.

dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "mission impossible" theme.

in the auto department, practice your "madonna look" using different size funnels.

hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through, yell "pick me! pick me!"

when an announcement comes over the loudspeaker, assume the fetal position and scream "no! no! it's those voices again!!!!"

go into a fitting room, shut the door and wait awhile; then, yell very loudly, "there is no toilet paper in here!”

thanks to sudbeck
for emailing these to me.
they're worth sharing

finders, keepers

it's amazing the stuff you find lying around the street these days.

call the fashion police

what is it with the kids and their fashions these days?

case in point: the pants they wear, you've seen 'em, black with the tassels and the zippers up and down the inseam and outseam, so baggy you could fit an elephant leg inside.

can you say parachute pants redux?

extreme football

word on the street is that when paul tagliabue retires in january as commissioner of the nfl, he will be replaced by none other than jeb bush.

no word yet who the nfl will invade first.

source unknown

for science

this is worth reading (thanks to nerdygirl)

speaking of new jersey

new regulations in the new jersey registry of motor vehicle's 2006 handbook:

turn signals will give away your next move. a confident new jersey driver avoids using them.

under no circumstance should you maintain a safe distance between you and the car in front of you, because the space will be filled in by someone else, putting you in an even more dangerous situation.

the faster you drive through a red light, the less chance you have of getting hit.

warning! never come to a complete stop at a stop sign. no one expects it and it will result in your being rear-ended.

never get in the way of an older car that needs extensive bodywork, especially with pa, ny or del plates. with no insurance, the other operator probably has nothing to lose.

braking is to be done as hard and late as possible to ensure that your abs kicks in, giving a vigorous foot massage as the brake pedal violently pulsates. for those of you without abs, it's a chance to strengthen your leg muscles.

never pass on the left when you can pass on the right. it's a good way to prepare other drivers entering the highway.

speed limits are arbitrary figures; given only as a suggestion and are not enforceable in new jersey during rush hour.

just because you're in the left lane and have no room to speed up or move over doesn't mean that a new york driver flashing his high beams behind you can go faster in your spot.

always brake and rubberneck when you see an accident or even someone changing a tire. this is seen as a sign of respect for the victim.

learn to swerve abruptly without signaling. new jersey is the home of high-speed slalom-driving thanks to the department of public works, which puts potholes in key locations to test drivers' reflexes and keep them alert.

it is the tradition in new jersey to honk your horn at cars in front of you that do not move three milliseconds after the light turns green.

to avoid injury in the event of a collision or rollover, it is important for you to exit your vehicle through the windshield right away. wearing your seat-belt will only impede your hi-velocity escape from danger.

remember that the goal of every new jersey driver is to get ahead of the pack by whatever means necessary.

in new jersey, 'flipping the bird' is considered a polite salute. this gesture should always be returned.

thanks to flynnski
for emailing this to me.
it's worth sharing.

flashbangboom

we finally got our first really good thunderstorm of the season today.

a thunderstorm in oregon is usually a three-bangs-and-it's-over kind of affair, never lasting more than about twenty minutes.

this one went on for about an hour.

nothing, however, compares to summer thunderstorms on the east coast.

nor'easter on the new jersey shore. summer of 1987. that was a helluva storm. lasted for days, rain blew horizontally into my open window, woke me up at two in the morning. went out onto the screen porch and listened to thunderclaps in surround sound until the sun came up.

that was a thunderstorm.

boy, do i like this kind of weather.

what's good for the gooseis good for the gander

with all the hubbub over illegal immigration and all the protests and demonstrations by mexican americans, legal immigrants and illegals alike--their chief complaint is that illegals in this country should be treated as felons--it should be noted:

the mexican government treats illegal immigrants to that country as felons, and imprisons them for up to two years.

one mexican man was fatally shot last year because the local mexican police thought he was an illegal because of the darkness of his skin.

he wasn't illegal. he was born there.

source: abcnews

thought du jour

no matter what ethical dilemmas you face
or what battles you fight every day,
you always have the right to choose
what you have for lunch.

-denny crane-

seen on the north end of a southbound carsqueezed into a parking space fit for a motorcycle

you've seen 'em, maybe even have 'em yourself. it's called obstacle avoidance system or parking assist. basically it's sonar for the front and back bumpers of your car so that you don't scratch your precious paint, especially handy for those who are "parking space challenged" and who drive large cars with huge blind spots.

today i saw an obstacle avoidance system on a mini cooper.

what's up with that?

men strike back

how many men does it take to open a beer?
none. it should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why is a laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?
because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine
will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
why do women have smaller feet than men?
it's one of those "evolutionary things" that allows them to
stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?
when she starts a sentence with "a man once told me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
how do you fix a woman's watch?
you don't. there is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why do men fart more than women?
because women can't shut up long enough
to build up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
if your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling at
the front door, who do you let in first?
the dog, of course. he'll shut up once you let him in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
what's worse than a male chauvinist pig?
a woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
i married a miss right.
i just didn't know her first name was always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
scientists have discovered a food that
diminishes a woman's sex drive by 90%.
it's called wedding cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
why do men die before their wives?
they want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
women will never be equal to men until they can walk down
the street with a bald head and a beer gut,
and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
in the beginning, god created the earth and rested.
then god created man and rested.
then god created woman.
since then, neither god nor man has rested.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
-------------------------------------------------------------------
send this to a few good men who need a laugh
and to the select few women who can handle the truth !

i am the new editur in cheef of gramer and speling

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid.

Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer inwaht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm! Tihs is bcuseae the hamun mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.

Amzanig huh?

Yaeh, and I awlyas tohguht slpeling was ipmorantt.

a troubling development. . .

here are the final standings in the
ncaa rifle championships which were held march 10:

1 alaska fairbanks
2 nebraska
3 army
4 navy
5 murray state

ARMY scored third? these are the kids we're sending to the front lines?

yikes!

note to verizon wireless

my office is a cellular dead zone. you think you could do something about that?

my life as amortgage account executiveday one

wow.

scripts to memorize, videos to watch, notes to take. . .all this information to cram in my head in the next three weeks!

ack

wish me luck.

voices inside my head, part deux

i wonder when the dreams about selling cars will end.

i know i start a new career tomorrow as a loan account executive for countrywide home loans. i suppose it's because i will miss the people at royal moore.

bill and tim i'll miss the most. thanks for the support and the friendship. i do feel a bit guilty about leaving you two in the lurch.

jason, for your support and encouragement, for believing in me, and for helping me get that fleet job (even though it was short-lived).

mike, for your support and friendship, and for driving me to become a better salesman, for your--shall we say--unique sense of humor, and our animated political discussions.

rick, for your fishing and hunting stories, your wild tales of salesmen and their misadventures in the car biz, for believing in me and my abilities, and for your support. sorry i didn't get a chance to say thanks and farewell face-to-face before i left.

todd and shawn, for your animated political diatribes, and for your support.

chris, for your wacky front porch rap. congrats on the wedding. hope vegas was a blast.

lacey, for your lovely smile and disposition. you could light up a room just by walking in.

peggy, for breaking all those fins.

connie, for your dry wit.

dana and sharon, for fielding all those endless questions about procedures and stuff while i was a mazda geek. i am sure i drove you crazy.

scott and ray, for handling all my technical queries with aplomb.

and the rest of you?

too many to name, too much to say.

i leave with a resounding (say it with me) THANK YOU!

and so an inning closes.can't wait for the next inning to begin.

the end of my days as a transportation consultant (read car salesman) are upon me. tomorrow is it. i've accepted a position as an account executive with countrywide. i start monday. it's a whole new inning, and i'm looking forward to the first pitch.

wish me good luck and godspeed. i hope i don't need it, but it'll be nice to have them in my dugout.

it's a small world, part deux

got a phone call at work last night from some guy looking for a car. i needed to call him back so I asked for his name and number.

mitch willett.

unusual spelling of that name. unusual name, that.

any relation to mark? asked i.

yup. he's my older brother.

i know mark and mike, but not mitch. . .but wait. . .i think his mom was pregnant with you when mark and i graduated from junior high!

that's me, said mitch.

wow. small world.

met mitch and his girlfriend shawna today. nice couple. they dated over the phone for months. here's to LDRs. sometimes they work. both of them are teachers--special ed (hats off to them for that. . .it's a calling.)

he looks like mike and sounds like mark. did some reminiscing. mom still lives in the same house in LO. mark and mike sell drugs. . .er, pharmaceutical sales reps they are. i forget now what matt does. mark married the girl he knew since the tender age of sixteen. been together 36 years! that's an accomplishment.

it's amazing how much catching up you can do in an hour.

the bonus: they even bought the car they were looking for.

nice meeting you, mitch and shawna. hope to see you and your family again soon.

what would you do with a trillion?

you'd have to spend a million a day for a million days, but that'd take 2,739 years. if you live an average 77 years, you'd have to spend almost $35.6 million every day of your life, from birth to death.

that's a lotta cheese.

from cnn.com

what the hell is an octicorn?

octicorn.com

the female is called unipuss.

happy friggin' anniversary indeed, part deux

another february 6 has come and gone, and i am here at royal moore auto center 3 years now. my goodness, how time flies. seems like yesterday i was a geek, but then i got laid off twice in five months and started selling cars of all things to pay the bills. come june it'll be five years total, and three years today at this place.

and my kids are growing like weeds,
and moira will be a sixth-grader,
and anna will be a first-grader,
and
and
and

and time marches on.

happy anniversary.

the man who married my mothersent me this joke.it bears sharing.

A man walks into the street and manages to get a taxi just going by. He gets into the taxi, and the cabbie says, "Perfect timing. You're just like Frank."

Passenger: "Who?"

Cabbie: "Frank Feldman. There's a guy who did everything right. Like my coming along when you needed a cab. It would have happened like that to Frank every single time."

Passenger: "There are always a few clouds over everybody."

Cabbie: "Not Frank. He was a terrific athlete. He could have gone on the pro Tour in tennis. He could golf with the pros. He sang like an opera baritone and danced like a Broadway star and you should have heard him play the piano."

Passenger: "Sounds like he was something, huh?"

Cabbie: "He had a memory like a computer. Could remember everybody's birthday. He knew all about wine, which foods to order and which fork to eat them with. He could fix anything. Not like me. I change a fuse, and the whole neighborhood blacks out."

Passenger: "Wow, some guy eh"?

Cabbie: "He always knew the quickest way to go in traffic and avoid traffic jams, not like me, I always seem to get into them."

Passenger: "Mmm, not many like that around."

Cabbie: "And he knew how to treat a woman and make her feel good and never answer her back even if she was in the wrong; and his clothing was always immaculate, shoes highly polished too."

Passenger: "An amazing fellow. How did you meet him?"

Cabbie: "Well, I never actually met Frank."

Passenger: "Then how do you know so much about him?"

Cabbie: "I married his widow"

blonde joke

i read the greatest blonde joke today. it had me rolling on the floor.

happy chinese new year

woof

happy birthday to geekshappy birthday to geekshappy birthday boredstiffgeekshappy birthday to geeks

been here a year, and what a year it's been

i love the smell of impeachment in the morning

the whole business almost makes me nostalgic for the clinton impeachment, which now seems as quaint as the geneva convention: a relic of a happier, more innocent time in american history, a time when we fretted about secret tape recordings made by linda tripp instead of secret recordings made by the nsa.

rosa brooks,
latimes.com commentary

i love a parade

kids. gotta love 'em.

anna (the five year old) has been talking about nothing for the last two days except getting up today to see the rose parade. it was the last thing on her lips last night. "please wake me up to see the rose parade, daddy."

well, this morning, we woke her up. her mom did, anyway--i was at work. carrie said to a sleepyheaded anna, "time to get up. the parade is starting."

anna rushed out of bed, into the bathroom, did her thing, walked out of the bathroom, laid down on the hardwood floor in the hallway outside the bathroom door. . .

and fell asleep.

five minutes later, carrie woke anna again, and asked her if she wanted to see the parade.

anna asked, "on tv?"

"yes," said carrie.

so off tootled anna to the couch to watch the parade.

i don't know whether anna remained awake through the parade. i guess i'll learn when i get home.

joy to the world

Merry Christmas to all, from Moira and Anna,
from Carrie, and from Jim, the bored stiff geek.

Click picture to see cool animation

best excuse for being late to work

reports of a stalled jetliner on 122nd at powell

twas the night before christmas somewhere in iraq

´twas the night before christmas, he lived all alone
in a one bedroom house made of plaster and stone.

i had come down the chimney with presents to give,
and to see just who in this home did live.

i looked all about, a strange sight i did see,
no tinsel, no presents, not even a tree.

no stocking by mantle, just boots filled with sand,
on the wall hung pictures of far distant lands.

with medals and badges, awards of all kind,
a sober thought came through my mind.

for this house was different, it was dark and dreary,
i found the home of a soldier, once i could see clearly.

the soldier lay sleeping, silent, alone,
curled up on the floor in this one bedroom home.

the face was so gentle, the room is such disorder,
not how i pictured a united states soldier.

was this the hero of whom i 'd just read?
curled up on a poncho, the floor for a bed?

i realized the families that i saw this night,
owed their lives to these soldiers who were willing to fight.

soon round the world, the children would play,
and grown-ups would celebrate a bright christmas day.

they all enjoyed freedom each month of the year,
because of the soldiers, like the one lying here.

i couldn't help wonder how many lay alone,
on a cold christmas eve in a land far from home.

the very thought brought a tear to my eye,
i dropped to my knees and started to cry.

the soldier awakened and i heard a rough voice,
"santa don't cry, this life is my choice;

i fight for freedom, i don't ask for more,
my life is my god, my country, my corps."

the soldier rolled over and drifted to sleep,
i couldn't control it i continued to weep.

i kept watch for hours, so silent and still
and we both shivered from the cold night's chill.

i didn't want to leave on that cold, dark night,
this guardian of honor so willing to fight.

then the soldier rolled over, with a voice soft and pure,
whispered, "carry on santa, it's christmas day, all is secure."

one look at my watch, and i knew he was right.
"merry christmas my friend, and to all a good night."

this poem was written
by a marine stationed in
okinawa, japan.
thanks to my cousin dpflynn
for emailing it to me.

spread it around.

i got my espn2 just in time

by a score of nil-nil and 4-3 on penalty kicks, the university of portland pilots edged the penn state nittany lions to advance to the championship round, to be played sunday.

star pilot striker christine sinclair (left) was held scoreless for the third straight game, so she'll need to kick a goal in the next game in order to set a new single-season scoring record of 38. no pressure, of course.

penn state star tiffany weimer, who scores an average of once for every three attempts on goal, was also held scoreless.

The real stars of the game were junior goalie cori alexander (right), who was stellar protecting the goal for the pilots, and penn state senior keeper erin mcleod, with 10 saves on goal.

so now it's on to face the ucla bruins. ucla hasn't seen an offense like portland's all year long, and the bruins have a five-game scoring streak of 25-nil coming into the finals, and they've shut out 17 of their last 19 ncaa tourney opponents. . .so it promises to be an exciting game.

you know where i'll be sunday--at home watching espn2!

pilots logo and photographs copyright ©2005 university of portland sports information office and americaneagle.com. used with permission. may not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the university of portland.

• • • • our first inductee• • • • into the• • • • bored stiff geeks• • • • hall of fame

carson williams has entirely too much time on his hands.
he must be a bored stiff geek.

click picture to see the ultimate christmas lights display.

thanks to realplayer.com,
members.cox.net,
and ifilm for this clip

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem, part trois

source unknown

air traffic lanes must be getting crowded

source unknown

someone was absent the dayintelligent design was handed out.

car crash in water.
crane come to lift car out of water.
car too heavy, crane crash into water.
bigger crane come to lift car out of water.
bigger crane have no problem with car.
bigger crane lift small crane out of water.
you do the math.

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem, part deux

pilot women kick irish butt

took my girls to see their first soccer match friday night.

i am proud to say that i got four of the coveted sold-out-in-6-minutes tickets to see the pilot women play the fighting irish women to advance to the semifinals of the ncaa tournament.

what a game. up until the opening whistle, the weather was lousy. we drove home from the tacoma area in the worst possible weather, and we were certain we'd be drenched during the game. i know, i know, it isn't soccer unless it's raining, but when you have a wife and a 5-year-old with colds and coughs, you don't need to be sitting in the rain at night in 38-degree weather.

and then the gods of good weather held sway, and the game began under cloudy dry skies. oh, sure, it drizzled a couple of times during the game, but we couldn't have asked for better weather.

and what a game it was. annie (my 5-year-old) was oblivious to the game. oh, she had her fun, she stomped the bleachers when the crowd stomped the bleachers, and she generally had a great time. i bet she remembers nothing of the game itself--but then, she could prove me wrong. moira (my 11-year-old) was nothing but questions about the game all night. did she have a ball? oh, yeah.

and my wife? she had forgotten her coat, of all things. left it in yelm at her sister's house. thank god the rain stopped and we had blankets-aplenty.

best friday night we've had in a while. might even be better than harry potter. haven't seen it yet, but 105 minutes under the bright lights with 4,892 rabid screaming soccer fans is an experience my kids and i won't soon forget.

if only the next round were being played here.

pilots logo and photograph copyright © 2005 university of portland sports information office and americaneagle.com. used with permission. may not be reproduced or redistributed without the express written consent of the university of portland.

portland star striker christine sinclair,
who holds UP and west coast conference records
in career goals (108), career points (248),
single-season goals (37) (tie),
and single-season points (84),
and holds school records in career shots (451),
and career game-winners (38).

excuuuse me, occifer. . .

driver achieves speed trap 'record'


november 18, 2005

swiss police were amazed to catch the same driver with the same speed camera no less than four times in one minute 37 seconds.

claiming he had no idea it was a speed trap, the driver said he returned three times because he thought someone was playing games with a flashgun and he wanted to double-check.

when their laughter had subsided, the police admitted that such a feat took precision driving and a "little bit of stupidity".

however, ignorance is no defense of the law, and the driver will be prosecuted for four separate speeding offenses under switzerland's tough traffic laws.

intelligent design couldn't solve this math problem

i see your true colors shining throughi see your true colors and that's why i. . .oh, never mind*

television evangelist pat robertson told the people of dover (pennsylvania) that they had rejected god by voting their school board out of office for supporting the teaching of intelligent design. robertson issued this warning on his daily television show the 700 club: "if there is a disaster in your area, don't turn to god; you just rejected him from your city."

are we to believe proponents of intelligent design who say that they are not trying to inject religion into the classroom when yahoos like robertson are spewing vitriol like that? i think we are a little more intelligent than what robertson gives us credit for.

source: new york times

*apologies to cyndi lauper

if you have nothing to say, say nothing at all

if there is a God, give me a sign, part deux

what happened?

this is precious. thanks to dadog for his comments on food for thought.

food for thought

according to the veterans affairs department, there are only eight veterans receiving pension or disability benefits from service in first world war.

using a list of 65,000 veterans alive in 1990 as a baseline, the census bureau estimates that there are only 30 to 50 american WWI veterans alive today.

the last known american veteran who was wounded in the war died in january 2004. he was 108.

thank a veteran today.

(source: yahoo! news/associated press)

if there is a God, give me a sign

there are three religious truths:

• jews do not recognize jesus as the messiah.
• protestants do not recognize the pope as the leader of the christian faith.
• baptists do not recognize each other in the liquor store or at hooters.

i'm bored. i have nothing to do.

next time your kids complain they have nothing to do or that they're bored, instead of suggesting they go outside and ride a bike or that they pick up a book and read, here's a new suggestion for them:

run for mayor.

my karma ran over your dogma

from the associated press:

revisiting a topic that exposed kansas to nationwide ridicule six years ago, the state board of education approved science standards for public schools tuesday which attempt to cast doubt on the theory of evolution.

the 6-4 vote was a victory for intelligent design advocates who helped draft the standards. (intelligent design holds that the universe is so complex that it must have been created by a higher power.)

supporters of the new standards said they will promote academic freedom.

"it gets rid of a lot of dogma that's being taught in the classroom today," said board member john bacon.

(in othther words: let's get rid of dogma in the classroom by injecting dogma into the classroom.)

there are two colors of sky in oregon

gray and grayer

from Orygone III;
or, Everything You Always Wanted
to Know About Oregon
but Were Afraid to Find Out,
by James Cloutier

not so long ago,in a supermarket not so far away. . .

an open letter. . .

have to recommend this post. it's a good read.

seen on the back end of an english teacher's car

thanks to bumperart

and now, live, from the scene of the crime. . .

is judith miller a roving reporter?

ready, aim. . .part deux

i used to think that people who left their W'04 stickers on their cars were gloating, and that they should get over it and move on. but i realized today that nobody sporting a W'04 sticker would consider "move on" as an option--sounds too much like moveon.org, i guess.

then a colleague of mine suggested this: don't people who sport W'04 stickers on their cars realize they're making themselves targets?

to which i replied: if people sporting W'04 stickers are of like mind with W, and W is of questionable mind. . .

seen on the south endof a northbound vespaheaded out of washington d.c.at 150 miles per hour. . .stupid, but it makes a story.

thanks to bumperart

happy bleeding birthday

42.

ack.

time marches on.

just a number, but the numbers keep ticking away.

time keeps on slippin', slippin', slippin', into the future. . .*

what was it my brother said?

age is nothing but a matter of time, and who really knows what time it is anyway?

i'll subscribe to my brother's wisdom here.

42, and getting younger.

*apologies to the
steve miller band

if this isn't an indictment, i don't know what is

(A brief history of White House indictments)

1. On 28 October 2005, I. Lewis “Scooter” Libby, assistant to President Bush Minor and chief of staff to Vice President Dick Cheney, was indicted on five charges including obstruction of justice, making false statements and perjury in the investigation into the leak of a covert cia agent’s name, a violation of the espionage act. The grand jury which handed down the indictment has been hearing the case since 2003. Special counsel Patrick Fitzgerald and his investigators have been trying to determine whether Libby or any other administration officials knowingly revealed the identity of cia agent Valerie Plame or lied about their involvement to investigators. More indictments may be forthcoming.

2. In october 2005, David H. Safavian, the top procurement official for President Bush Minor, resigned. Three days later, he was arrested and indicted on five felony counts connected to criminal investigation of lobbyist Jack Abramoff. At the time the indictment covered, from May 2002 to January 2004, Safavian had been serving as the chief of staff at the general services administration. The case is still pending.

3. In November 1996, Henry G. Cisneros resigned from his position as President Clinton's Housing Secretary. In December 1997, he was indicted on 18 counts of conspiracy, obstruction and lying to the FBI. Cisneros pleaded guilty to a misdemeanor in 1999 and was fined $10,000.

4. In December 1994, Mike Espy resigned from his position as Clinton's Agriculture Secretary. In August 1997, Espy was indicted on 39 corruption counts in allegations that he had received financial gifts from Tyson Foods Inc., one of the companies his department regulated.

5. In May 1993, White House Travel Office chief Billy R. Dale and his entire staff were fired by the Clinton administration. Dale was indicted in december 1994 on two counts of embezzlement and conversion after a grand jury said he pocketed up to $68,000 from media organizations traveling with the president.

6. The only sitting cabinet member in recent history to be indicted while in office was Raymond J. Donovan, President Reagan's labor secretary. In September 1984, Donovan was indicted along with several others, accused of grand larceny in his co-ownership of a construction firm. After going on unpaid leave in october, Donovan resigned in March 1985.

7-19. In November 1986, John M. Poindexter resigned from his post as National Security Adviser to President Reagan. In March 1988, Poindexter was indicted in relation to the Iran-Contra affair. Poindexter was charged with two additional counts of obstructing congress and two counts of making false statements. He was convicted in 1990, but the charges were overturned the following year. Also indicted: Elliott Abrams, Carl R. Channell, Duane R. Clarridge, Thomas G. Clines, Alan D. Fiers, Jr., Clair E. George, Albert Hakim, Robert C. McFarlane, Richard R. Miller, Lt. Col. Oliver North, Richard v. Secord, and Caspar W. Weinberger. On December 24, 1992, President Bush Major pardoned Abrams, Clarridge, Fiers Jr., George, McFarlane, and Weinberger. North's conviction was vacated because of a technical conflict in the immunity agreement between north and the Judiciary Committee in exchange for his testimony.

20. In 1983, Thomas C. Reed resigned from the Reagan administration after working as a presidential assistant under National Security Adviser William P. Clark. In August 1984, he was indicted on four counts related to alleged illegal stock trading.

21-29. In April 1973, President Nixon forced White House Chief of Staff H.R. Haldeman and Domestic Affairs Counsel John Ehrlichman to resign. In March 1974, they were indicted in connection with the Watergate coverup. Along with several others, both Haldeman and Ehrlichman were convicted in 1975 and sentenced to 18 months in prison. Others indicted in the Watergate affair were E. Howard Hunt and G. Gordon Liddy, and the Watergate burglars James W. McCord, Frank Sturgis, Bernard Barker, Eugenio Martinez and Virgilio Gonzalez (a.k.a "The Plumbers").

The score:
Republicans - 26 (and counting)
Democrats - 3

You'd think the Republicans would learn. I guess the phrase "memory of an elephant" doesn't apply.

sources: federation of american scientists, intelligence resource program and the center for media and democracy

if microsoft made cars. . .

A particular model year of car wouldn't be available until after that year - instead of before it.

Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a new car.

Occasionally your car would just die for no reason, and you'd have to restart it. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this.

Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some strange reason, you'd just accept this, too.

But that wouldn't work, you'd have to take the engine out, do nothing to it, then put it back in.

You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.

Sun Motor Systems would make a car that was powered by the sun, twice as reliable, and five times as fast - but it would only run on five percent of the roads.

The oil, engine, fuel and alternator warning lights would be replaced with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.

People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars, forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many years.

We'd all have to switch to Microsoft fuel.

The U.S. government would be getting subsidies from an auto maker instead of giving them.

New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

The air bag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.

The steering wheel would be replaced with a mouse and you'd need to memorize the keyboard short-cut for "brake".

For some reason the engine controller would need a 1G hard disk and would take 5 minutes to boot up.

They wouldn't build their own engines but form a cartel with their engine supplier. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you could use Model-T Ford parts on it. There would be an "Engine Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be slower on most existing roads.

Your car would refuse to start with a message "Abort, Retry, Fail or Cancel?"

You would have to have a full service every 500 miles.

The speedometer would read 70 even though you are only doing 50.

They would make a flashy convertible model, where if you raised the top the engine would overheat.

The entire engine wouldn't be in the bay at once, and the car would have to keep stopping and starting to load in the relevant parts.

Every time you carried a new passenger you would have to alter the cars configuration settings. When the passenger alights these configurations would remain in place.

(source unknown)

sorry, tonya

the international olympic committee ruled today that women's boxing will not be included as a medal or exhibition event at the 2008 games in Beijing.

looks like tonya harding's last hope for a gold medal has been dashed.

cheers, dad

in most of the old candid party or social pictures of my dad, he is holding a drink in his hand. he wasn't a heavy drinker at all--it's just that he always seemed to carry that one glass of scotch with him all night at whatever party he was attending. He would nurse that drink all night and never need a refill.

that's what i call "social drinking."

i'll drink to that, and i'll drink to your memory, dad.

i love you, and i miss you.

seen on the northbound end of a southbound t-shirt

geek love poem

roses are #FF0000
violets are #0000FF
all my BASE
ARE belong to you

women just don't understand men

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their heads and women with their hearts.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...

"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not getting any tonight either.

thanks to sudbeck for that one.

incompetent boob

The Peter Principle (θə pē•tər prĭn•sĭ•pəl) etym. Laurence Johnston Peter (1919–1990): n.: 1. the tendency for an individual in any hierarchy to rise to his own level of incompetence and then remain there; 2. see also President George W. Bush; 3. see also FEMA Director Michael Brown; 4. see also Supreme Court Justice-Nominee Harriet Miers; 5. et al.

are you a democrat or a republican

Question: How do you tell the difference between Democrats, Republicans And Southern Republicans?

Here is a little test that will help you decide.
The answer can be found by posing the following question:

You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, an Islamic Terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying a Glock .40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family.
What do you do?

Democrat's Answer

Republican's Answer

Southern Republican's Answer

ethics question du jour

this test only has one question, but it's a very important one.

by giving an honest answer, you will discover where you stand morally.

the test features an unlikely, completely fictional situation in which you will have to make a decision.

you are in florida. miami, to be specific. there is chaos all around you caused by a hurricane with severe flooding. this is a flood of biblical proportions. you are a photojournalist working for a major newspaper, and you're caught in the middle of this epic disaster.

the situation is nearly hopeless. you're trying to shoot career-making photos. there are houses and people swirling around you, some disappearing under the water. nature is unleashing all of its destructive fury. suddenly you see a man floundering in the water. he is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken down with the debris.

you move closer.... the man looks familiar. you suddenly realize who it is. it's george w. bush!

at the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him under forever. you have two options--you can save the life of g.w. bush or you can shoot a dramatic pulitzer prize winning photo, documenting the death of one of the world's most powerful men.

click here for the question, and please give an honest answer.

heigh ho, heigh ho, it's off to school we go

it's anna's first day at school. moira is there to show her the ropes. i hope and pray she's successful.

it seems by this picture that they actually get along with each other.

live. love. learn.

may your first day of school be wonderful and beautiful.

what a weird thing it is to marry off your mother

my mom got married yesterday. what a strange feeling you get when your mom pledges to spend the rest of her life with someone other than your dad, even though dad died ten years ago.

when first she told us about the engagement, my first reaction was "way to go, mom!"

then it sank in.

mom's getting married.

she's 75 years old, and getting married.

some other man is going to live with my mom.

oh, don't get me wrong, bob's a nice guy. mom couldn't have found anyone nicer. . .except my dad. there it was, that nagging feeling creeping in again.

but i got over it, and i find that bob's as nice a guy as my dad was. . .only in other ways, and that's the whole point.

i even committed a freudian slip at the reception. the photographer wanted a picture of everyone on mom's side of the family with the bride and groom, and i told my wife to get our kids for a picture with. . .wait for it. .
.mom and dad. she caught the slip before i did.

i must like the guy more than i was ready to admit.

welcome to the family, bob. hope your marriage is long and wonderful, and full of goodness and love. may you enjoy a truly ripe old age together, because 75 is young, and don't you forget it.

i love you, mom. may you live to 115 so that you have another 40-year marriage. if it's even half as good as the first time, it'll be a most wonderful marriage.

my hope for you is a most wonderful marriage.

watch your dam language

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan.This guy's response is hilarious, but read the State's letter before you get to the response
letter.
------------------------------------------------------

(State's letter)

SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County

Dear Mr. DeVries:

It has come to the attention of the Department of Environmental Quality that there has been recent unauthorized activity on the above referenced parcel of property. You have been certified as the legal landowner and/or contractor who did the following unauthorized activity: Construction and maintenance of two wood debris dams across the outlet stream of Spring Pond.

A permit must be issued prior to the start of this type of activity. A review of the Department's files show that no permits have been issued.

Therefore, the Department has determined that this activity is in violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act 451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

The Department has been informed that one or both of the dams partially failed during a recent rain event, causing debris and flooding at downstream locations. We find that dams of this nature are inherently hazardous and cannot be permitted. The Department therefore orders you to cease and desist all activities at this location, and to restore the stream to a free-flow condition by removing all wood and brush forming the dams from the stream channel.

All restoration work shall be completed no later than January 31, 2003. Please notify this office when the restoration has been completed so that a follow-up site inspection may be scheduled by our staff. Failure to comply with this request or any further unauthorized activity on the site may result in this case being referred for elevated enforcement action.

We anticipate and would appreciate your full cooperation in this matter. Please feel free to contact me at this office if you have any questions.

Sincerely,

David L. Price District Representative Land and Water Management Division

------------------------------------------------------

This is the actual response sent back:

------------------------------------------------------
Re: DEQ File No. 97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County.

Dear Mr. Price,

Your certified letter dated 12/17/02 has ben handed to me to respond to. I am the legal landowner but not the Contractor at 2088 Dagget, Pierson, Michigan. A couple of beavers are in the (State unauthorized) process of constructing and maintaining two wood "debris" dams across the outlet stream of my Spring Pond. While I did not pay for, authorize, nor supervise their dam project, I think they would be highly offended that you call their skillful use of natures building materials "debris." I would like to challenge your department to attempt to emulate their dam project any time and/or any place you choose. I believe I can safely state there is no way you could ever match their dam skills, their dam resourcefulness, their dam ingenuity, their dam persistence, their dam determination and/or their dam work ethic. As to your request, I do not think the beavers are aware that they must first fill out a dam permit prior to the start of this type of dam activity.

My first dam question to you is: (1) Are you trying to discriminate against my Spring PondBeavers; or (2) do you require all beavers throughout this State to conform to said dam request? If you are not discriminating against these particular beavers, through The Freedom of Information Act, I request completed copies of all those other applicable beaver dam permits that have been issued. Perhaps we will see if there really is a dam violation of Part 301, Inland Lakes and Streams, of the Natural Resource and Environmental Protection Act, Act451 of the Public Acts of 1994, being sections 324.30101 to 324.30113 of the Michigan Compiled Laws, annotated.

I have several concerns. My first concern: Aren't the beavers entitled to legal representation? The Spring Pond Beavers are financially destitute and are unable to pay for said representation, so the State will have to provide them with a dam lawyer. The Department's dam concern that either one or both of the dams failed during a recent rain event causing flooding is proof that this is a natural occurrence, which the Department is required to protect. In other words, we should leave the Spring Pond Beavers alone rather than harassing them and calling them dam names. If you want the stream "restored" to a dam free-flow condition please contact the beavers, but if you are going to arrest them, they obviously did not pay any attention to your dam letter--they being unable to read English.

In my humble opinion, the Spring PondBeavers have a right to build their unauthorized dams as long as the sky is blue, the grass is green and water flows downstream. They have more dam rights than I do to live and enjoy Spring Pond. If the Department of Natural Resources and Environmental Protection lives up to its name, it should protect the natural resources (Beavers) and the environment (Beavers' Dams). So, as far as the beavers and I are concerned, this dam case can be referred for more elevated enforcement action right now. Why wait until 1/31/2003? The Spring Pond Beavers may be under the dam ice then and there will be no way for you or your dam staff to harass them then.

In conclusion, I would like to bring to your attention a real environmental quality (health) problem in the area. It is the bears! Bears are actually defecating in our woods. I definitely believe you should be persecuting the defecating bears and leave the beavers alone.

If you are going to investigate the beaver dam, watch your step! The bears are not careful where they dump!

Being unable to comply with your dam request, and being unable to contact you on your dam answering machine, I am sending this response to your dam office.

Thank You,

Ryan DeVries & The Dam Beavers

i used to be a schizophrenic. . .

. . .but we're OK now.

random thought for the day

spooning leads to forking

five years

five years you've been here.

five years of giving your sister what-for, five years of smiles and laughter. five years of i-don't-know-what-i-would-have-done-differently, because you are my baby, my image, my sweet annie. . .

my life would be a wreck without you.

i love you, anna. happy birthday.

happy anniversary fr. vincent

fr. vince. what a guy. happy anniversary.

happy friggin' anniversary indeed

life here is still good.

it's been four years TODAY that i joined the rank and file of the lowest scum-of-the-earth known as CAR SALESMEN. still selling toyotas-mazdas-nissans-subarus-buicks-pontiacs-GMCtrucks in my spare time (all 50 hours a week. . .ack). keeping my options open. don't know if i will or can go back to full-fledged geekdom (i am so far behind the curve now, i don't think my old print shop could hire me to do the graphic design). happy anniversary indeed!

anyway, life is good, carrie and the girlz are great. they grow like weeds, the girls do. annie is four-years-eleven-months old now. moira is ten-years-nine-months. time flies.

must spend more time with them.

speaking of that, i'm off to see my girlz again.

ciao for now.

happy high explosives day (that'd be july 4).

this news out of washington really burns my flag

conservatives in the united states congress took up a motion yesterday to amend the constitution to ban flag burning.

but there's a twist. they are trying to get support from house liberals by telling them it'll reduce global warming.

four gentlemen of the apocalypse

BBC - Comedy Blog - Four Gentlemen of the Apocalypse

why did the chicken cross the road?

BBC - Comedy Blog - Cen Fath a Chuaigh an Sicin Trasna an Bhothair?

where did the time go?

seems like yesterday you were a ringbearer (translation: three-year-old stud in a tuxedo) in our wedding. today you are poised to kiss this popsicle stand called high school goodbye.

time flies.

be mindful of it. waste not a moment of it. squeeze every last drop out of it. but most of all. . .

enjoy it.

congratulations, ryan.

if you can't beat 'em, throw in the towel

Tue May 24, 1:52 PM ET (AP)
TUPELO, Miss. - A conservative Christian group has ended its boycott of the Walt Disney Co., launched nine years ago in response to what leaders perceived as the erosion of the company's squeaky-clean image.
"There are so many other issues we need to move on to and deal with that are taking our time and energy," American Family Association president Tim Wildmon wrote in a letter published Monday on the group's Web site. "If you're going to call for a boycott of a company - if something has become that serious - you need to have all your resources behind it."
The boycott had a limited impact. Disney has reported higher earnings, citing increased attendance at its theme parks and strong performance from its film studio and ABC television network.
The Tupelo-based Christian group has protested Disney's extension of benefits to domestic partners of gay employees, promotion of gay-related events at its theme parks and violent and sex-filled content of movies made by its Miramax subsidiary.
The group blamed longtime Disney chief executive Michael Eisner, and said some of the problems had been resolved by Eisner's upcoming retirement and the company's break with Miramax founders Bob and Harvey Weinstein.
Wildmon said the announcement is not an endorsement of Disney, just an end to the boycott "as a ministry agenda item."

it's a small world

the next time you are feeling small, here's a bug's eye view of the world to put it in perspective for you.


click picture for larger view

ready, aim, fire

i have to question the wisdom of issuing, to security guards who work at
target stores, badges with bullseyes on them which they wear over their
heart.

water, water everywhereand not a drop to drink

four-year-olds. aaaaaaaargh.

little anna was taking a bath yesterday, and she managed to flood the bathroom, the upstairs landing, and soak the carpet in her room and her sister's room.

just as i was walking in the door home from work.

carrie and i spent the next two hours frantically ripping up the hardwood floor, pulling carpets and carpet pads, wet-dry vacuuming the water up from the bathroom, soaking water up with every damn towel in the house.

i just laid that hardwood down. six hours' work ripped up in half an hour.

my legs hurt.

the guys from servicemaster came the next day to install dehumidifiers and "air movers" (industrial-strength fans) which are running 24/7.

let me give you a warning. if you ever have water soak your house, be prepared to listen to the din of the loudest jet plane cabin for three days.

happy bloody mother's day.

a birthday wish

you've been gone ten years. time flies.

we all miss you.

moira asks about you a lot more these days.

i wish you were still here. heck, you are still here as long as we think of you.

watch over us.

pray for us.

we love you.

happy birthday, dad.

how to scare the snot out of your four-year-old

we just got back from disneyland. hoo boy. what an adventure, traveling with a ten-year-old and a four-year-old.

six years ago, we took our ten-year-old (who was then four years old) to disneyland. she was scared out of her mind of most of the big rides, but she got a little thrill from the big thunder mountain railway. so i thought our four-year-old would enjoy it too.

think again.

after we got off the train, my four-year-old was pale as a ghost and shaking like a leaf. i thought she was going to pass out or throw up. fortunately she didn't.

she did enjoy (loose construction of the word) the haunted mansion, though.

my ten-year-old did finally get on splash mountain, the matterhorn, indiana jones adventure, and she rode the big thunder again. had a ball.

my four-year-old's favorite rides?

dumbo and small world. should have guessed.

it's a small enough worldwithout a song to drive you crazy(thanks a lot, walt disney!)

It's a world of laughter
A world of tears
It's a world of hopes
And a world of fears
There's so much that we share
That it's time we're aware
It's a small world after all

There is just one moon
And one golden sun
And a smile means
Friendship to every one
Though the mountains divide
And the oceans are wide
It's a small world after all

It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small world after all
It's a small, small world

business is the sh*ts

a colleague of mine is starting a new business venture. . .buying, refining, processing for energy, and selling the leftovers of the leftover cow shit.

i smell something here, and it is not a rat. or a cow.

i smell money. the color of money is brown.

moooooove over tom cruise. show me the cow manure.

those who do not know historyare damned to repeat it

remember texas pacific group? the organization which is trying to buy pge?

remember texas pacific group?

remember texas pacific group? the organization which bought convergent?

remember texas pacific group, who mismanaged it into oblivion, closing all the offices and leaving jobless scores of people across the country?

what'll happen to pge if tpg buys it?

only history will tell.