five years? where has the time gone?

the Lord bless you and keep you
the Lord make his face to shine upon you
and be gracious unto you
the Lord lift his countenance upon you
and give you peace

diane sunde graham

18 august 1964 - 1 march 2005

my oldest, dearest friend
i cannot find

the words to say

how much you are missed

i swear to you

that i will try

to be as dear a friend

to mike, matthew and amanda

as you are to me

say hello

to your mother and father

who you missed so much

these last fifteen years

keep watch over Carol

and her family

for she loves you

and needs you

and is part of you

and will remember you

the rest of her days.

she is good

and pure

and needs your strength

and courage.

please find my dad

shout to him as you did to me

flash him your radiant smile

and warm him with your embrace

save a seat near you

at God's banquet for me

for i love you

as only a best friend could.

i weep

because you are gone

but i rejoice

because you are here

in my heart

and in my mind

always and forever.

time is irrelevant

in the scheme of eternity

for our life here is but

a blink of God's eye.

there are some who believe

that the journey from here

to Paradise

takes a stop along the way

to cleanse us and make us ready

to see the face of God.

i believe

with all my heart

and all my soul

that you found yourself

in the presence of God

the moment you left us

here in this life,

and that surely

your goodness and love

is as perfect as can be

and that you need not

make that stop along the way.

on the random, remotest chance

that you are still making the journey,

that you are moving

toward the light still,

i offer a simple thought,

spoken on the occasion

of my dad's funeral fifteen years ago.

it is, quite simply,

one of the most beautiful prayers

i have ever heard,

and since you are, quite simply,

one of the most beautiful people

i will ever know,

it bears repeating for you.

it

is

said

by some

that when a bell

rings, a soul, waiting

to get into Heaven, gets

its wings to take it there.

the next time i hear a bell

i will close my eyes and pray

with all my heart and all my soul

that you get your wings to speed

you to

Heaven

glory be to the Father

and to the Son

and to the Holy Spirit

as it was in the beginning

is now

and ever shall be

the world without end

amen

rest in peace,
dearest friend.

water, water everywhere, and not a drop to drink. . .

why is it, when water is so darned plentiful in oregon, that bottled water is so darned expensive?

newest offerings from smart cars, part deux

first, we had this

what's next?

---------------------------------------

Not even sure it's got a name...

From its 'why-would-you-do-that' department, smart has developed a fortwo with monster ambitions.

The forfun² has the body of a smart fortwo mounted on an all-terrain Mercedes-Benz Unimog 406 series. The Greek 4x4 Rally Champion, Stefan Attart, joined forces with Mercedes-Benz Greece, to design and develop this one-off vehicle.

The engine and transmission are adopted from the Unimog and the vehicle has a six-cylinder diesel engine with a capacity of 5,675 cc delivering 84 bhp. By comparison, a fortwo diesel has a 41 bhp engine.

The vital statistics of the forfun² include ground clearance of more than 2ft, eye popping tires on 26 inch rims, and a towering 12 ft height.

Attart wanted maximum off-road mobility which makes the Unimog 406 the perfect platform. He added oversized wheels, an aluminium safety cage, and his design team used special shock absorbers with manually controlled air suspension, which is an advantage on steep downhill slopes.

Er -- that's it...

-------------------------

as crafty198 wrote, "Damn it why can't I get a job thinking up great things to do with cars and a few thousand quid!!"

stupid chemistry thought for the day

if you're not part of the solution, you're a solid or a gas

if only my clients would read this. . .

if only my clients would read this. . .then they would not feel slimed by the best of us who are only trying to do the right thing. . .

pour me a pint o' your best, barkeep.

In Canada, an Artwork With Its Own Barkeeps

click me

Bad Prediction of the day

"there is no reason anyone would want a computer in their
home."

-- ken olson, president, chairman and founder
of digital equipment corp., 1977 --

Xīn Nián Kuài Lè

warming, schwarming.

The Daily Show With Jon Stewart	Mon - Thurs 11p / 10c
Unusually Large Snowstorm
www.thedailyshow.com
Daily Show Full Episodes Political Humor Health Care Crisis

hiya, speedy

one word: decadent.

had dinner at the olive garden last night. all was going well until dessert came.

i ordered these italian doughnuts called zeppoli. bite-sized pastries, dusted in powdered sugar and cinnamon, and served with a cup of hot fudge for dipping.

i gained 5 pounds just smelling the damn things.

if you haven't tried them, you haven't lived.

some say

don't feed them, they'll breed!

the lieutenant governor of south carolina has compared schoolchildren who eat free lunches, to stray animals.

don't believe me? watch the clip

happiness is a warm gun. . .

"the question put to a succession of arms industry executives last may was always the same: would you pay bribes to get a piece of a $15 million contract to equip the presidential guard of an african country?


according to the justice department, almost two dozen executives said yes, put it in writing and wrote checks — without realizing that the african officials getting the bribes were actually undercover FBI agents."

nytimes.com

the password is. . .

Simple Passwords Remain Popular, Despite Risk of Hacking

from

this just in

in our completely unscientific poll of a random sampling of 6 americans, 66.6 percent said enough hot air already", and 33.3 percent said "can't wait to see her", when asked about sarah palin being a contributor to fox news.

some of these poor geeks are going to be more bored than they've known in a while

AOL to Lay Off Up to 1, 200--NYTimes.com/AP, January 11


SAN FRANCISCO (AP) -- The struggling Internet company AOL was laying off up to 1,200 workers this week because it didn't get enough volunteers to accept buyouts.


The cuts will leave AOL at less than a quarter the size it was at its peak in 2004.

you shook me all night long. . .

here's a before and after shot of the national palace in port-au-prince, haiti, showing the damage wrought by the quake. it boggles the mind.

words of wisdom, from a loan officer's perspective, part deux

embrace the crap

-- jason asher --

how's the air up there?

thanks to kottke.org, kizmodo, and the green room

for these perspectives on the new
burj khalifa (a.k.a. burj dubai) in dubai

i wasn't going to say anything, part deux

sarah palin made her debut on fox news last night on the o'reilly factor.

is it just me, or does she look like a deer in the headlights again?

i wasn't going to say anything, but something must be said

sarah palin is going to contribute to fox news.

so who's going to be her ghostwriter?

moooooooooooo

Uniquely Painted Homes on the Cyberhomes Blog

well, that was brief

talk about your going out in a blaze of. . .

well, it was more like blowing out a birthday candle

NBC Ending Leno's Nightly Prime-Time Show

story here

up, up and awayin my beautiful balloon

my niece was kind enough to give my girls a copy of the movie UP (disney/pixar) for christmas. they'd already seen it, carrie and i had not.

the advance previews were cute, but left us with an expectation of the movie which was, in a word, wrong.

in this case, that was ok. don't get me wrong, but the movie had its cute and funny parts, particularly dug and alpha (the dogs), but the story itself was the real charm. it was sensitive, moving, charming, funny, sad, illuminating, bitter and sweet all in one package.

i don't mind admitting being moved to tears at more than one occasion in the movie.

it was, in short, that good. if you haven't seen it, see it. if you have, see it again.

and again.

i'm dreaming of a white. . .whenever

it finally snowed today. took me two-and-a-half hours to drive home. . .usually takes 20 minutes in the evening. for you mathematicians, that's 7.5 times the normal commute time.

my reward came when i got home. my daughter was out on the driveway ready to play in the snow. . .at 8:00 p.m. she even wanted to shovel the sidewalks. my nine-year-old!

and the other reward? just look at the house. made the drive worth the postcard from home.

kids. . .can't live with 'em,can't ship them offto the north poleto be santa's slaves

this is what you see. . .

this is what they are really thinking. . .

the kids were feeling guiltyabout shaking all those presentsall morning long just to guess what was inside each one. . .

our fifth annual inducteeinto the boredstiffgeekshall of fame

another example of someone

with too much time on his hands

thank you for callingtechnical support. . .part deux

too funny. may be 2 years old, but gets funnier every time.

i can't believe we fit the whole thing

a week ago, our family went out on a very cold day. . .30 degrees and windy, but thankfully, no snow or rain.

we found this tree farm near our home which was selling these incredible noble firs, and so we cut one down, strapped it to the roof of our car, and drove it home. . .

. . .slowly, for it is a big tree, and we don't have a truck.

anyway, my wife's eyes were bigger than the room. she thought we had 10-foot ceilings. . .turned out to be 9-foot ceilings. once we got the tree in, we had to lop off a foot of the tree trunk. . .

inside the house. . .

with a circular saw.

sawdust. everywhere. so much that our vacuum cleaner clogged up and i had to install a new bag.

i digress.

so here we are, with a completely decorated christmas tree for our first christmas in our new house. i can't believe it's christmas already. six months have gone by so quickly.

i hope you like our humble tree.

may the blessings of the holiday be upon you in all abundance, whether you celebrate christmas, chanukkah, kwanzaa, or any other holiday. (we do strive (tongue firmly planted in cheek) for some degree of political correctness. hahaha.)

merry christmas to all, and to all a good night.

thought for the day

another balmy day in paradise, part deux

it was 14 degrees on my front porch this morning.

where's the 102 when we need it?

igoogle.com

it's beginning to look a lot like. . .whoops!

good news is that i truly outdid myself this year with my christmas decorations. the bad news is that i had to take them down after two days.

i had more people come screaming up to my house than ever. great stories. but two things made me take them down.

first, the police advised me that they would cause traffic accidents as drivers almost wrecked when they drove by.

second, a 55-year-old lady who grabbed the 75-pound ladder almost killed herself putting it against my house. she didn't realize the man on the gutter was fake until she climbed to the top--she was not happy.

she was one of many people who attempted a rescue.

my yard couldn't take it either. i have more than a few tire tracks where people drove into my yard.

--author unknown--

happy national corduroy day (11/11)

je vous verrai quand je te vois

s'il vous plaît pardonnez ma traduction approximative - je suis un peu rouillé. Je n'ai pas parlé ou écrit en français dans près de vingt ans.

Roger Eyraud était vraiment un bon gars. il a toujours été rapide avec un mot gentil, un bonjour, un mot de préoccupation, encore plus rapide avec son esprit. depuis qu'il a appris que je pouvais parler français, je n'ai jamais été à l'abri de ses tentatives de conversation en français occasionnels, voire sournoise son double sens. il voulait même me présenter à son père pour que nous puissions converser en français.

il n'est jamais arrivé. aurait dû, aurait pu, aurait.

Roger était un bon professeur, un grand collègue, un mentor exceptionnel. J'ai beaucoup appris de Roger. mon seul souhait est que j'avais plus de temps pour apprendre à mieux le connaître.

roger va nous manquer beaucoup.

click here for translation

i bleed pinstripes

it was a bear of a day at the kyrgyzstan circus

a bear on ice skates attacked two people during rehearsals at a circus in bishkek, the capital of kyrgyzstan, killing one of them, kyrgyz officials said friday.

in the incident, which happened thursday, the 5-year-old animal killed the circus administrator, dmitry potapov, and mauled an animal trainer, who was attempting to rescue him.

"the incident occurred during a rehearsal by the russian state circus company troupe which was performing in bishkek with the program, bears on ice," ministry of culture and information director kurmangazy isanayev told reporters.

it is unclear what caused the bear to attack potapov, 25, nearly severing one of his legs while dragging him across the ice by his neck. medical personnel were unable to save potapov, who died at the scene.

the 29-year-old circus trainer yevgeny popov, who attempted to rescue potapov, was also severely injured, according to doctors.

"the victim has sustained serious injuries - deep scalp lacerations, bruising of the brain, lacerations on his body. his condition is considered critical," dr. gulnara tashibekova told reporters on russian state television.

after the incident, the circus was cordoned off by police and emergency service workers. experts have been brought in to examine the bear, which was shot and died at the scene.

russia has a long-standing tradition of training bears to perform tricks such as riding motorcycles, ice skating, and playing hockey. fatal attacks are unusual

--from cnn.com

happy 57th anniversary

happy birthday to you. . .

happy 17 again

=8-D

always young at heart

in the words of the great philosopher,baz luhrmann,everybody should wear sunscreen

2 words. skin cancer. mildest kind--of the basal-cell carcinoma variety. had it removed from my nose, and am having my nose reconstructed wednesday.

------------------------------------------------------------

Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of ’99
If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists whereas the rest of my advice has no basis more reliable than my own meandering experience.
I will dispense this advice now. Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth; oh nevermind; you will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they have faded.
But trust me, in 20 years you’ll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can’t grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked….You’re not as fat as you imagine. Don’t worry about the future; or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing
bubblegum.
The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind; the kind that blindside you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.
Do one thing everyday that scares you.
Sing.
Don’t be reckless with other people’s hearts, don’t put up with people who are reckless with yours.
Floss.
Don’t waste your time on jealousy; sometimes you’re ahead, sometimes you’re behind. . .the race is long, and in the end, it’s only with yourself.
Remember the compliments you receive, forget the insults; if you succeed in doing this, tell me how.
Keep your old love letters, throw away your old bank statements.
Stretch.
Don’t feel guilty if you don’t know what you want to do with your life. . .the most interesting people I know didn’t know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives, some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don’t.
Get plenty of calcium.
Be kind to your knees, you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Maybe you’ll marry, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll have children, maybe you won’t, maybe you’ll divorce at 40, maybe you’ll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary. . .what ever you do, don’t congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself either – your choices are half chance, so are everybody else’s.
Enjoy your body, use it every way you can. . .don’t be afraid of it, or what other people think of it, it’s the greatest instrument you’ll ever own. . .
Dance…even if you have nowhere to do it but in your own living room. Read the directions, even if you don’t follow them.
Do NOT read beauty magazines, they will only make you feel ugly.
Get to know your parents, you never know when they’ll be gone for good.
Be nice to your siblings; they are the best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.
Understand that friends come and go, but for the precious few you should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps in geography and lifestyle because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.
Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard; live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.
Travel.
Accept certain inalienable truths, prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old, and when you do you’ll fantasize that when you were young prices were reasonable, politicians were noble and children respected their elders.
Respect your elders.
Don’t expect anyone else to support you.
Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you have a wealthy spouse; but you never know when either one might run out.
Don’t mess too much with your hair, or by the time you're 40, it will look 85.
Be careful whose advice you buy, but, be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia, dispensing it is a way of fishing the past from the disposal, wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts and recycling it for more than it’s worth. But trust me on the sunscreen…

cool word of the day

synecdoche

there are some awfullybig shoes to fill. .

edward moore kennedy

22 feb 1932 - 25 aug 2009

if only my cats were this smart. . .

London, July 30 (ANI): Casper, a 12-year-old pet cat, has caught the same bus regularly for four years.

The feline boards the No3 service at 10.55am from outside his home in Plymouth, Devon, and travels the complete 11-mile route before returning home.

Casper has become so known that all First Bus drivers have now been told to look out for him to ensure he gets off at the right stop, reports The Telegraph.

Susan Finden, 65, a care worker who is Casper's owner, said: "Casper has always disappeared for hours at a time but I never understood where he was going.

"I called him Casper because he had a habit of vanishing like a ghost. But then some of the drivers told me he had been catching the bus.

"I couldn't believe it at first, but it explains a lot. He loves people and we have a bus stop right outside our house so that must be how he got started - just following everyone on.

"I used to catch the odd bus too so maybe he saw me and got curious what I was doing.
"Casper is quite quick for his age so he just hops onto the bus before the doors close. He catches the 10.55am service and likes to sit on the back seat."

Rob Stonehouse, one of the drivers on the route, said: "He usually just curls up at the back of the bus. Sometimes he nips between people's legs but he never causes any trouble." (ANI)

i got lost somewhere betweentranslation and oblivion

"three types of ball are offered.
they are one. two. three."

-- instructions for chinese baoding exercise balls.

another balmy day in paradise

igoogle.com

no tribute to the gloved one would be complete. . .

without steve martin's sendup of billie jean.

click the picture to watch

you might be a redneck cop. . .

A young couple, Joshua Kelly and Llara Brook, of Chantilly, Virginia, found themselves lost while driving in Baltimore, Maryland. They were relieved, of course, when they spotted a police cruiser.

• Kelly: "Could you please get us to 95?"
• Officer Natalie Preston: "You found your own way in here, you can find your own way out."

Whoa, life's a bitch when asking Baltimore police for help.

When "officer" Preston spotted them asking another officer for directions she decided to bite. She stepped between the couple and the other officer, snarling, "My partner is not going to step in front of me and tell you directions if I'm not." Then she hauled their butts to the station where they remained locked up for "trespassing."

"It was a nightmare," said Brook. "In jail for 8 hours. Sleeping on a concrete floor next to a toilet."

Wrong one, wrong type of pound

Kelly's car was sent to the police car pound where the police left it both unlocked and with the windows down. Stuff, of course, was stolen from the car.

Brook's parents are both Pennsylvania police officers. We'll follow this story and report updates.



Click here to see original story with video!

WBAL TV (Baltimore, MD) 17-May-06

you might be a redneck. . .

. . .if your idea of a day at the spa. . .

. . .is sitting in a kiddie pool in the bed of your F-250.

to sum up. . .or, how to freak out your cats

step one. sell your house.

step two. move to an apartment.

step three. refer back to here. and then here.

step four. buy another house.

step five. move again!

add water and stir.

part deux to come. bet on it!

that was then, this is. . .

that was then.

today you are 14-going-on-15, or if you had your way. . .

14-going-on-driver's-license. ack.

today you finish middle school. 14 years have gone by in the blink of an eye, some of the time good, most of it great.

you have gone from adorable baby to gorgeous young woman, and i've witnessed the most remarkable transformation along the way. i am pleased that i was here to enjoy it with you, and i am so very proud of you.

happy graduation. high school is next, and then the rest of your life, whatever that holds.

i love you, moira.

ten hut!

to those who served,

i salute you

and in your honor

i will hoist a pint.

my goodness, how you've grown.

tips for assembling the drawers in the bed for your 8-year-old

step one: decide which drawer goes where--especially if it's one of those pedestal beds with the drawers under the sleeping surface.

step two: gentlemen, look away--this particular drawer is full of an 8-year-old's "unmentionables."

step three: slide the drawer into the selected hole.

step four: close the drawer completely. voilá! a complete bed.

oh. . .i almost forgot. . .step one-point-one. . .

make sure there are no cats hiding in the hole.

damn cats.

* * * * *

oops. . .there's more here.

cats. they think they own the place, part trois

(in case you forgot or missed the entire melodramatic saga, start here, then follow the links at the end of each installment. if you are in the middle of the saga when you reach this point, ignore the previous instruction, and continue.)

* * * * *

damn cats.


sold the house last week. now live in an apartment, waiting for the perfect house bargain to come along. . .


anyway, the stupid cats are at it again. think they're queens of all they survey. what do they do? they leave!


my 14-year-old's cats vanished again today. into thin air. my daughter is maudlin (again), and my wife is in tears (again). and i have this sort of emotional detachment that's kind of creepy (again).


don't get me wrong, i love my cats. i hope they come back. for my daughter's sake, for my wife's sake. i do miss the creatures. i miss the way they crawl on top of my chest and head-butt my chin to tell me they want food.

damn cats.

* * * * *

end of story here.

so surreal, part deux

my youngest plays softball now, and has practices on mondays and wednesdays. sometimes, when i get home from work, my wife and kids are still at the softball diamond because it runs late, or some other reason.

today, i came home from work. i knew it would be close. i drove home, and sure enough, there was no sign of my wife's car. i thought aloud, "oh. they're at the field."

in the next instant, i realized, that isn't my driveway any more. my wife's car won't be here. . .

. . .it'll be at the apartment, dummy.

i want no part of this

Max Headroom - Car Parts
by blonde180246

how am i going to get to sli-leep?

how surreal is this?ori am suddenly homeless!

august 1998. first house.

april 2009. sold.

weird. feeling ambivalent. not sad. just a change.

haven't found a new place yet. make a temporary stop in an apartment nearby.

the house hunt goes on.

surreal.

i am a scratch golfer

this means i scratch my head a lot when i golf.

they always say you're happier at the end

joe had such a great day yesterday. he was in a good mood,
he was happy. he had more clients in his pipeline and was
facing such a great month. you could see it in his face and
in the bounce in his step.

and his step had quite a bounce yesterday, for joe was a big
guy.

we lost joe last night.

i hardly knew joe, but i knew that i liked him. always quick
with a smile, or a laugh, or a piece of well-needed advice.

big guy, yet so soft-spoken.

some of us even had a mafia name for him, you know, a
nickname. in the Sopranos, there was paulie 'walnuts'
gualtieri, bobby 'bacala' baccalieri, johnny 'sack'
sacramoni, salvatore 'big pussy' bonpensiero. . .

we imagined joe cast as Joey 'two salads' Salas. i think
that was benjamin's idea.

don't know if he liked the moniker, but he laughed at it.

joey laughed a lot.

for that, we will miss joe.

just in time for easterorif you are sensitive to graphic violenceyou should look away now.

ohhhhmmmmmmm

in case you are having a rough day, here is a stress management technique recommended in all the latest psychological journals. the funny thing is that it really does work and will make you smile. . .

1. picture yourself lying on your belly on a warm rock that hangs out over a crystal clear stream.
2. picture yourself with both your hands dangling in the cool running water..
3. birds are sweetly singing in the cool mountain air.
4. no one knows your secret place.
5. you are in total seclusion from that hectic place called the world.
6. the soothing sound of a gentle water fall fills the air with a cascade of serenity.
7. the water is so crystal clear that you can easily make out the face of the person you are holding underwater.

there!! see? it really does work. . .you're smiling already.

amazingly simple home remedies that really work!

1. avoid cutting yourself when slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold the vegetables while you slice.

2. avoid arguments with the females about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

3. for high blood pressure sufferers--simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure on your veins. remember to use a timer.

4. a mouse trap placed on top of your alarm clock will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

5. if you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives. then you'll be afraid to cough.

6. you only need two tools in life--wd-40 and duct tape.. if it doesn't move and should, use the wd-40. if it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.

7. if you can't fix it with a hammer, you've got an electrical problem.

------------------

daily thought: some people are like slinkies - not really good for anything but they bring a smile to your face when pushed down the stairs.